#everyone's experience is different and I don't think it's my job to define an experience for someone else. ultimately only the person

[lightandfellowship]

I actually find the topic of "Nomura's evolving art style as he takes on more and more responsibility at Square (and subsequently has less time to Do Stuff)" really fascinating.

Like, If you compare his art from the KH1-DDD era to his current day art, I think there's a noticable difference to his approach: how many steps there are in his art process, how he chooses to finish a piece, and the shift from a clean digital style to a more organic traditional one.

He used to use very clean, black lineart; bold colors; and more instances of defined/hard shading for that digital, almost cell-shaded or vector kinda look. Nowadays he goes for a more sketchy + watercolor style with pencil lineart, broad washes of faded color, and color shading that's a bit more blended and simplified in places (relying more on the pencil shading to create distinct shadows), with the hard edges more often reserved for scattered, bright highlights. (He's made art like this in the past eras too, such as the KH main menu arts which all have a watercolor quality to them, but the lineart was a bit more defined then and less sketchy, and thus slightly different from his current stuff.)

I think the Dark Road key art is a very good example of his current art style. The sketchy, almost brown lineart. The watercolor quality that emerges where two colors meet and overlap. A little desaturated and earthy. Color shading that's very broad, soft, and loose, with sharp highlights here and there.

Both styles have their merits (I personally love this sketchy era of his), but I think it's pretty likely that he adopted this as his "main" art style in order to adapt to time crunch. He doesn't need to do time-consuming lineart and precise shading anymore; he can use the original sketch as the lineart instead. Heck, he can fill in a bunch of the shading via pencil during this sketching phase to save even more time, and then can paint in a more watercolor-y kind of way that allows him to color in quicker, broader strokes.

And then there's the occasional art mistake that has become a bit more frequent in recent years, by my estimation. Which I imagine, again, is due to running out of time to notice/fix those mistakes. Things like Ephemer's arms being a bit too long in this UX art, the Kingdom Key being slightly off-model in this anniversary art, or the ears on this Mickey Mouse symbol being two different sizes on this Utada album art.

(Which isn't to say that he hasn't made art mistakes in the previous eras, for example he initially got the colors of Riku's shirt mixed up in the Re:CoM cover art before fixing it, but I still think the mistakes were a bit less frequent back then.)

And like, hey. I draw, too. Amatuerishly, but I do. I don't blame Nomura for possibly needing to change his approach to making art in order to meet deadlines, nor do I blame him for these little art mistakes that ended up falling through the cracks. I imagine he simply doesn't have the time anymore now that his job has shifted from (primarily) being a character designer/illustrator to (primarily) being a director of multiple, simultaneous projects. Or maybe I'm totally wrong about this and his art evolution had nothing to do with time crunch, who knows. I think his current art style is gorgeous either way!

Anyway, I just think this is an interesting example of someone taking their art and adapting it to a difficult and highly limiting situation, experimenting with new things and finding the means to still make art even when you have less time to do. Also a great example that professionals are human and will make mistakes even in professional products, and it's not the end of the world, it just happens. If you ever obsess over a mistake in your art...maybe take solace in knowing that it happens to everyone. Even people who have been in their field for a very long time.

[musical-chick-13]

Do you think being an ugly woman or going through puberty as a girl can be traumatic?

I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask this, as I am not a medical professional or researcher, just a very mentally ill lady.

But, as far as I see it, anything can be traumatic. It depends on a variety of situational factors-how other people react to what's happening, how they treat you, what your body and mind do in response to an event, how impactful or prolonged the event in question is. I'm reluctant to say that anything is inherently traumatic, (just because everyone is going to respond to every situation or combination of situations differently). But I don't think there's anything that exists that could never be traumatic in any situation, either. (And this gets even more complicated when you factor in something like PTSD or other illnesses that have triggers, especially ones that might not read as "obvious" to the average person.) If someone ostracizes you or refuses to understand your identity or ignores or belittles what you're going through, and if you don't have access to various personal needs because people are mistreating or neglecting you for things you can't control, I can absolutely believe that would incite a trauma response.

I'd really recommend reading this analysis/explanation of what, exactly, trauma is. It really helped me make sense of some of my experiences and solidify my own feelings toward the concept of trauma as a whole. It also has a link to some resources from the trauma and PTSD library, which I think are far more equipped to provide adequate answers than I could be.

[cy-cyborg]

Hi! I'm trying to include autistic and/or ADHD characters in my stories but I'm afraid I'm not doing a good job. I'm neurotypical, so I fear I might find myself using stereotypes and that's not my intention. Do you have any tips? Thank you in advance, have a nice day!

Ok, so personally I have a lot of trouble coming up with advice for auDHD (autism + ADHD) because, well, the spectrum of experience is so large and there isn't a lot of consistency within the community in regards to what is considered good representation vs just stereotypes. There's a few outliers, like every one I know has agreed Sia's movie "Music" is offensively bad lol, but pretty much everything else I can think of is less clear cut. Generally though, if you want examples of media portrayals of autism done well, avoid anything from or connected to Autism Speaks. They are not a reliable source.

I only really have 3 suggestions:

decide what level of support your character needs. Support needs for autism are variable and they can fluctuate throughout a person's life, but typically, people will fit into one of 3 categories. In Australia it's Level 1, Level 2 and Level 3 with Level 1 is defined as generally being low-support needs, and level 3 being generally very high support needs. Of course, it's a spectrum, so there's massive amounts of variably person-to-person, but as an author, it can be a good idea to pick one of the levels, because you'll typically find more specific information about how autism will present.

Find content creators (as in multiple) with both Autism and ADHD. It's a good idea to listen to the community directly, but when you're writing an AuDHD character in particular, you do need to be aware that those autism and ADHD can play into one another or in some cases, can cancel some traits of each other out (kind of). But it'll be different from person to person. They are very distinct disabilities, but they have some unusual interactions it's vital to be aware of. Ideally, you'll also want to try find auDHD people in the same age range and who are the same gender as your character. Different generations and age groups will treat AuDHD differently, and while It's not a hard and fast thing, both autism and ADHD manifest differently in men and women because of how we are socialized and raised (this applies to trans and nonbinary people too, they'll typically take on traits associated with the gender they were usually raised as, but not always. Personally, I showed a mix of both, but my traits do align more with the typical presentation of AuDHD in girls). Just a little side note, not every person creating content about Autism/ADHD is open to working with authors. Find content creators, listen to them, but don't ask them about your character specifically unless they have stated somewhere that they're open to helping with that kind of thing.

Find sensitivity readers and sensitivity consultants for autism and ADHD. A sensitivity reader goes over your manuscript once the draft is done, but consultants help you from even earlier on in the process. If you're worried about not doing the community justice, this is the best way to go. People online like myself can offer generalized advice, but SR's and SC's will be able to go much more in-depth with you and help you fix moment-to-moment issues in your story.

Some additional things to be mindful of as well when looking up further resources:

Both Autism and ADHD can make it difficult to regulate tone and emotion. This means you are likely going to get information from the community at some point that might not be easy to hear and you're not going to like how its presented to you lol. They're going to be blunt and maybe even "rude". It's not personal (usually lol) but don't expect everyone to be polite, and don't only take criticism from those who are. Tone and emotional regulation is literally a part of both disabilities for a lot of us, and this is a topic a lot of us have strong feelings about to begin with.

I mentioned it already, but avoid taking advice from anything connected to or directly from Autism Speaks.

Social media tends to favor low-support-needs folks, so you'll find info about them, from them, much easier. Even if you're writing a LSN character, be mindful of that bias

Be wary of anyone claiming autism/ADHD is a superpower unironically. This is one of those things that's said by a lot of lower support needs folks and is often a warning sign that they might hold harmful beliefs about other parts of the community and could give you bad info. Just again, something to be aware of when researching.

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

Building on your response to my transfem WLW ask, you mentioned having gripes about queernorm fiction. Would you be willing to elaborate on those? I have my own, but am curious about your takes.

In the time since I started writing my response, I also received a version of this ask from @st-just, @causticgin, @theoldgodsaredisappointed, and @procyon-potor. Glad you're all interested in my ramblings.

The thing about my experience of queerness is that it is defined by not being normal. Whether people or institutions are accepting of my queerness or not, there is the awareness that it is a way of being that does not conform to societal expectations. The awareness of that, and the specific ways in which my queerness brings me into conflict with societal norms, define the queer experience for me. Queer norm fiction erases that. Oh, you kissed a girl instead of a boy? How do you feel about that? Normal? How does everyone else feel about that? Normal? Then what exactly do we have in common? What part of that experience is meaningfully queer? It's great for validation, don't get me wrong - I would've loved a bit of queer norm fiction when I was 14. But I don't read queer fiction for validation anymore; I read it to see characters and situations that are resonant, and the closest queernorm ever gets to that is "I also kiss girls", which is worth nothing if you strip away all the social and personal implications that come with that statement.

This becomes really, really obvious if you try to include trans characters in a queer norm story. I noted The Final Strife as being unusual for having a trans character, and the reason for that feels self-evident: How do you include an explicitly trans character in a setting where that is apparently so normal and unremarkable that no one would even note it? There are workarounds, but I'm trying not to get too into the weeds here. Suffice to say that in the best case scenario you get a character who textually used to identify with one gender and now identifies with another, and whose lived experience of that has basically nothing in common with my own, or any other trans person I've met.

A lot of queer norm settings are also held together by some very convenient handwaving that the inclusion of trans people stretches. In most queer norm stories I've read, no one ever gets hit on by someone of a gender they're not interested in, and no one ever gets misgendered because their preferred pronouns are apparently immediately obvious even to people who they've never met. And I get the impulse, I really do! Those things are aggravating in real life! But they also aren't always malicious - at one of my old jobs, my presentation was so respectable and normative that everyone assumed unprompted that I had a husband! And I know so many trans people of so many different stripes whose presentation just doesn't cause most people to use the right pronouns without being prompted. So what about those people? Do trans people with indeterminate or quote-unquote "mismatched" presentation not exist in these so-called queer norm settings? Doesn't feel very queer to me.

I feel like a lot of this arises from authors who don't want to sit down and do the worldbuilding for a setting where queerness as we understand it is genuinely normalized. What a lot of these authors want to do - and I don't hold this against them - is take a straight story they've seen a thousand times and drop someone like them into it instead. And they don't want any queerphobia in the story because the straight stories don't have it, and they just want a version of that with queer characters instead. I understand this impulse. I have no gripe with these stories. But they will never appeal to or represent me, because I don't think someone like me could exist in a queer norm world.

I think it's fine that people take the queer norm approach to books that are just "I want a story like this but gay", but I do take issue when people apply queer norm to a book that's meant to have teeth. In CL Clark's The Unbroken, a very well-written book exploring the way imperialist countries destroy other cultures and strip them for parts, I thought the queer norm setting was a missed opportunity. In its sequel The Faithless, a much less well-written book about... Well, let's just say the cracks caused by that decision showed through a lot more. If you want me to believe that, in a hereditary monarchy, it is completely irrelevant that one claimant is unmarried with multiple rotating partners and no children or any apparent interest in having them, while the other is settled and has a child, then I'm going to need some worldbuilding to back that up.

But again, I understand that plenty of queer people don't want to write about queer oppression. We all certainly deal with it enough in our real lives; I understand wanting a break from it in your fiction. The solution, I think, is not queer norm fiction, but speculative fiction. You want trans characters with a recognizably trans experience but no prejudice? Well, what would a society like that look like? How would their values be different from ours, what kind of governance and social structures and priorities would arise from those values, and maybe most importantly, what kind of people would be considered transgressive by that society?

That's the step that I feel like a lot of speculative fiction skips, unfortunately. Every society has an idea of what a normal life within it can look like, and that idea is never going to be all inclusive. I love the Oriati in Baru Cormorant, I love the way that their trinary, self-deterministic gender schema challenges Falcrest's very limiting and repressive expectations of gender, but what about Oriati who don't fully identify with any of the three genders? How do the Oriati view reproduction? For any society to continue, it needs to have new people to carry it on, typically people born into it. When gender and reproductive capabilities are completely decoupled, what effect does that have on birthrate, and societal feelings about children? Is there any societal preference for parings that produce children, or stigma against those that don't?

One series that I think handles this kind of worldbuilding very well is Ninefox Gambit. In many ways the society is post gender; gender is seen as something you can put on and take off as it suits you. Surgical alterations are easily accessible and reversible, with few lasting consequences. However, characters whose professed gender differs from their biological sex, who adopt a gender without going through the accepted process - in other words, people who experience gender outside of the parameters that society has decided are normal - are looked down on. In this way, authors can explore literal representations of queer experiences without writing about real world prejudice, and they can explore the experience of dealing with an equivalent societal prejudice that captures some of the feelings of the queer experience without facing identical struggles. It's something I would like to see more of.

All this to say, as much as I understand the impulse behind queer norm fiction, I find that it makes the characters feel less queer, and all but erases non-cis experiences of queerness. I don't think every queer author is obligated to include real world queerphobia in their stories, but for me to find anything to relate to, they need to explore the queer experience holistically in some way, not just emulate the trappings. If your society treats two girls kissing as completely indistinguishable from a boy and a girl kissing, then in what way are they even meaningfully queer?

[thestupidhelmet]

I get that Red was trying to help Eric from making a mistake by marrying too young. He and Donna were too young to get married (it’s my opinion they could’ve still been engaged and waited till after they graduated high school to marry). But I think Red was going too far by taking away everything that Eric earned— especially his job! That was vindictive and completely unnecessary. I hated how he did that to try to prove a point he couldn’t make by “demoting” Eric back to a ten year old. Red wanted Eric to be an adult TM, but by taking away his son’s responsibilities, he wasn’t doing that. Eric was really trying to prove to his father and everyone else he could handle supporting himself (and by extension Donna, even though she’d be working too), but Red took away all his chances.

I don't like how Red or Kitty reacted to Eric and Donna's engagement, either. That being said, I also understand their point of view.

Eric and Donna are only seventeen. While the planned length of their engagement is never explicitly stated or discussed in season 5, Red and Kitty's behavior implies that Eric and Donna plan on a relatively short one. Otherwise, Eric and Donna would've told them to chill because they don't plan on marrying until after college.

They never communicate that intention, however. If they had, the storyline would have fallen apart. The writers purposely never define the planned length of the engagement so that all the conflict between Eric and his parents can happen.

Red and Kitty fail to dissuade Eric and Donna verbally, including asking them simply to postpone the engagement by one year -- which, again, implies that marriage would soon follow.

Red tries to give Eric a dose of reality by firing him from PriceMart, that once married Eric wouldn't be a kid who could rely on his parents to fix or find solutions to his problems. Problems that would now be adult in nature: being financially responsible for his adult family, living expenses, future children (T7S prime canon, not T9S AU canon).

Neither Red nor Kitty want Eric to grow up unprepared, foregoing college because the responsibilities of marriage and maybe kids at a young age means he'll have to work full-time. We know from "Hunting" (season 2) that Red very much wants to prepare Eric for taking care of himself in a much less kind environment than his home -- i.e. the world.

Red and Kitty are desperate to get through their determined, stubborn, teenage son, who doesn't yet have the wisdom borne from experience to make different choices. He has an arrogance that many teenagers have about their choices. It's part of the growth process.

So Red pushes Eric and Donna to get married right away, at seventeen) to scare them into postponing engagement/marriage.

The one act that I believe goes too far is Kitty sabotaging Eric getting the bank job. Again, I understand why she does it. She's right to believe if he gets that job that he'll delay college or never go. And if I were in her position, I might want to make a similar choice (I wouldn't necessarily act on it).

But Eric will live and by his own choices as an adult. He's made his decision at seventeen, and in a year -- at eighteen -- he's legally an adult. Getting that bank teller job is another indication that he and Donna planned on a short engagement.

Red and Kitty are parenting Eric the best, imperfect way they can, trying to protect Eric from his own dumbassery.

I do think that an in-character Donna, at least, would have insisted on a long engagement that lasts through college. Eric would have agreed to it, too, even if he were eager to be married during college. But the T7S writers began manipulating the characters in season 5 to manufacture conflict and put plot first.

[notcuddles]

Saw a post about what the various Dungeon Meshi characters are like in bed and it was just...so deeply wrong. Like, I'm sorry, but just because a character has many good traits in day to day life does NOT mean they're just automatically going to be great in bed.

DunMeshi is the show for loving cringefail idiots who are trying their best (and sometimes managing to get there)

Anyway, here's my take:

Marcille - wants to be good in bed and is trying very hard to be sexy but has internalized way too many romance novels AND way too much social stigma about sex to be really uninhibited in bed. The experience will be fine but you come away from it feeling like there was something missing. Figuring out that she's attracted to women will help her a lot because she won't have a bunch of predetermined, socially mandated sexual roles to fall back on and will have to get creative.

Laios - doesn't think about having sex a lot for himself (he definitely does think about it but he's clearly got a somewhat childish sensibility regarding it) but definitely down if someone else initiates...and is very specific about what they're trying to get him to do. Lots of enthusiasm but zero technique. Willing to put a lot of things in his mouth though, so that's useful. Absolutely down to try whatever physical kink you have, basically without question, but probably bounces hard off of D/s dynamics and similar social role playing for the most part. Pet play is too tame, but will definitely pretend to be a tiger erotically stalking you through the jungle if you're into that.

Chilchuck - I'm sorry, I know everyone loves Mr. Tims but he sucks in bed. "But he has three kids". Lots of people who suck in bed have lots of kids. It's called "societal pressure to have children". Chilchuk's defining (marriage ending!!!) features are that he's emotionally unavailable and tends to overwork himself, which is not a recipe for being a great lover. His one saving grace is that he's good with his hands. Unfortunately, he's not interested in foreplay so that's wasted on him.

Senshi - Likewise, I know we all love dwarf daddy but he ALSO sucks in bed, but for different reasons. Firstly, he's NOTABLY UNWASHED, to the point that magic doesn't work on him, so unless you're really into body odor and related kinks, that's really going to put a damper on things. More importantly, this man has a long history of being isolated from society. Senshi is kind of defined by his desire to be close to people and take care of them, but he's really never had an opportunity to form the kind of long-term, stable relationships that could lead to sexual exploration. (Yes, he was with the orcs for a while but I suspect he was never integrated into the tribe enough for that kind of exploration to take place - when he started getting close to that level, he left because he didn't want to get married) I just straight up don't think he's had a lot of experience in that regard and I think he would be kind of shy. However, since he does like taking care of people, he'd be open to direction and probably a quick learner. You gotta put in the work to teach him though, he's not coming to you with a lot of experience.

Falin - Yeah okay, she's into some weird shit and not shy about it. However, it's not in a defined or specific kink kind of way, she's just very willing to be open about enjoying sensations or experiences that other people might think were weird. If you're down to clown with this dynamic, you'll have a great time. If not, you'll discover midway through fucking that she's stopped paying attention to what you're doing and is watching an ant trying to carry a crumb through a hole in the wall next to the bed. She still tells you that you're doing a good job because you're trying so hard, which is far more devastating than being told that you sucked. Shuro - has very defined ideas about How Sex Is Supposed To Go and won't deviate from them. If you like being methodically pounded for over an hour because he can't finish, Shuro is the man for you. However, this is because he has an extremely repressed kink that he's desperate to hide at all costs by never doing anything even slightly deviant. If you can ever get him to admit what that kink is, he will either die of embarrassment or become the best lay you've ever had...so long as you happen to think that kink is hot, because it's definitely the only thing that will really get him off reliably.

Kabru - has been studying your every move and carefully peppering you with seemingly innocuous and non-sexual questions to help him guess what you're into while you were on a date. Phenomenal in bed, very good/giving/game and eager to please - to the point that you actually don't get a chance to do much to him. A rather dazzling experience the first time around but unfortunately you quickly realize that he has bespoke brain problems that are beyond your ken and is obsessed with some oblivious blond guy. You end up sleeping with him a few more times and keep getting the feeling that he's working an angle but it's hard to say what that angle is, because sex is clearly not the end game of the 5 dimensional chess that he's playing.

[lasi-nariyoyoreads]

Mingyu and Joshua's FS

Ask 1: Can you do a reading for Joshua’s future spouse? With a few questions I would like to ask is Do they know each other or have they met? Are they a celeb or non celeb? Korean, Asian, or foreigner? What’s their personality like? How long it will take before they get together ? ( sorry I know I’m asking a lot of questions ) - Ask 2: Hiiii, Lasi! I hope you’re doing well 🫶🏻 Can I request a reading about SVT Mingyu’s FS? Like the one you did for Bang Chan of SKZ? Thank you so much, have a great day ahead! ✨

Squeezing these two ask from the old blog together because they have the same topic and are about two members of the same group. As for Joshua's ask, it's the first time I tried to get specific info, usually I tend to focus more on their emotional connection and the characteristics of their personalities, but it was fun to try a new approach. For Mingyu, I did what I usually do. I'm fine btw and I hope you have a great day too!

Disclaimer:

My readings are made for fun and you should read them for fun too. So don't take them seriously.

Mingyu

Cards: rev the temperance, rev 6 of cups, 5 of pentacles

This person lacks balance, either they are bad at managing their time/business and/or they lack emotional stability.

I say emotional stability because it seems they're coming out from a bad experience and are in a process of healing. It's possible Mingyu is a "tool", in the sense that his presence is also a way to move on from the past disappointment.

They seem like someone who doesn't expect much from everything.

They might struggle with self-esteem or they might even go as far as thinking they don't deserve anything.

I'm not sure how I feel about this relationship also because I don't feel much on Mingyu's part, I don't know if he's getting anything good from being close to them and I get the feeling he isn't that serious about them.

They might have different personalities, different life styles or a different world view that brings them to many arguments and clashes.

I feel like it’s a relationship that is kinda "forced", like they are together more to keep up appearances rather than because of real love.

For example, they might have been outed, so everyone knows they’re in a relationship. They’d rather act like a happy couple than going through another scandal linked to them breaking up. Or a sudden pregnancy might be involved too.

I don't think this person is getting much benefit from being with Mingyu either, other than the idea that a handsome and successful man is attracted by them.

I think they'll break up eventually.

Joshua

Cards: rev 8 of pentacles, 5 of wands, rev 5 of pentacles

While I was shuffling, I was asking your questions in my mind and when I asked about their personality, the 8 of pentacles rev fell off the deck, so I’ll just take this card as what defines their personality.

They might be someone who directs all their energy in the wrong direction. Like over-focusing on an aspect and forgetting about everything else. For example, you ask them to hang out together but they’re always busy with something else.

It’s possible that this is an aspect that might cause some conflict. It’s possible this person is very focused on their job, but then neglect their private life.

Joshua might voice this and ask for more quality time.

5 of pentacles reversed is a card that fits this context, it means that something good will come after hardships, so I think this person will be able to find a better management of their time.

As for their job, they give me the vibe of someone who aspired to something big but didn’t achieve that much. If they are an idol, they probably debuted and then got disbanded soon after because they weren't successful. I feel this is what caused that imbalance in their life, they probably started to focus too hard on their job because they’re so ashamed of their failure. It’s possible they still work around in the industry, but behind the scenes.

I feel they don’t know each other yet or they aren’t that close yet. It's hard to say how long it will take for them to get together, but if we stick by the cards, there's two number 5 that appeared, so it might be 5 years. In 5 years, it will be 2028 and 8 is the other number that appears in the cards so idk you might take that as a sign if you want.

It's hard to say where they’re from, but 8 of pentacles and 5 or pentacles are represented as sitting women in my deck, so it gives me a sense of someone stationary, they might be Korean. 5 of wands is represented as men who climb, so they might be from the south of the country and then moved north to Seoul to train and/or work.

[rf-times]

Hello. I saw your post on tradwives and I wanted to ask a question. I am an aspiring tradwife and an ex-feminist. And I'm genuinely curious about what you said. I respect your opinions and understand you want the best for women and yourself too.

Do you believe that what you said applies to most tradwives or just white tradwives in first world countries? Additionally, in my personal experience, I did not have a working mother but I was pushed into university even when I knew I couldn't handle it. Isn't it better for women who cannot handle the competitive job world to become a tradwife? Particularly if they're naturally submissive, like housework and submitting to someone who can make their decisions for them? I have talked to really good traditional men who are good people and their masculinity consists of being strong and protective men instead of the abusive ones feminists think they generally are.

That's not exactly one question so apologies for that. I mean this all in good spirit and I genuinely want to know. Have a good day!

On the contrary, women who feel overwhelmed and scared by the world, who just want a nice protective man to look after them, and who have people pleasing tendencies and feel incapable to handle independence, are the women who are most vulnerable and susceptible to abuse. If your motivation for becoming a tradwife is that are scared of independence then what leverage do you have if the men you rely on to look after you fail you in some way? If you cannot handle independence you will find it so much harder to be able to leave.

What exactly do you think abusive men look like? Do you think they announce themselves to everyone in any given circumstance? You say you've spoken to really good traditional men, how well do you know them really? How well do the women who get abused by their partners know their men? Abusiveness is virtually never obvious and manifests in many ways across a relationship, as does negligence which is how so many women who are supposedly being 'provided for' end up bearing the full brunt of managing a household and finding that if they are ever sick or need anything, their husbands leave them.

I don't believe in 'natural submissiveness', especially in women. I myself am soft-spoken, have trouble asserting myself and often fall into people-pleasing patterns including a lifelong struggle with subconsciously and consciously pleasing and coddling the men around me. Many women are the same, is this a natural fixture of our personalities that we should just fall into and let men decide things for us? Or is it a response to social conditioning and a brutal world designed to undermine women's confidence in ourselves and our ability to participate in society as equals so that we rely on men? I encourage you to look beyond your fears and insecurities to see what you're really capable of.

What I've said about tradwives applies to places where women have more choices and expectations to participate in the external economy/workforce and are told they could potentially succeed in capitalism in their own right. Because it is a different thought process for women who are given no opportunity or expectation to be defined beyond wifehood and motherhood. The very notion of 'tradwife' is western centric, as its all about returning to so called 'traditional' roots.

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

I'm really contemplating whether or not I can in good conscience keep thinking of myself as queer, which is kind of painful for me, because I have a lot of attachment to what it means to me. But it really does clearly mean something very different to most people, and I don't want to ignore that reality. It bothers me that when I say it, people might reasonably believe I'm talking about a particular type of ideology and political agenda that can be separated from the Normie Gays and the Hateful Assimilationists, that a person could learn about then choose to agree with and support or not agree with and support, because I've always felt strongly that being queer isn't a type of politics you can have, it's an experience of existing in a politicized way.

I'm well aware that 90% of the people in my Tumblr orbit perceive me (or would if they knew me) as one of the Hateful Assimilationists, which in some sense I agree that I am. I think it's actually a reasonably psychologically healthy goal to want to be a participating member of one's community and culture, although that's not the only thing I think a reasonably psychologically healthy person should care about. And it's not the only thing I care about, but I do want to just -- go about my business in life, and do my job and shop and socialize and deal with bureaucracy and attend events and never have to navigate feeling anxious or unwelcome or unsafe simply because I exist in public and other people have feelings about that. To myself, I feel -- normal, I'm just a person, I'm not doing anything that I feel like should be all that bothersome or intrusive to other people. It's other people who are intrusive when I I just am here, looking like they don't think I should look, having a family they don't think I should have.

So, like -- I'm not queer because that's some kind of mission statement for me, I know other queer people like the idea of having a Disruptive Agenda, but my agenda is and has always been trying to convince other people to be less rude and weird about me, because I'm just like, some person who is alive and trying to get through life like anyone else, like everyone else. As far as I'm concerned, I have never been the weird one; people who have absolutely no stake in my clothes, name, sex life, facial hair, general manner of existing, and yet feel thoroughly empowered to inflict their uninvited opinions about those things on me -- those people seem bizarre to me.

So when I've used the word queer, it's always been an acknowledgement that these are non-normative ways of being, and these are stigmatized ways of being, and there has been an ongoing experience of stigmatization and marginalization in my life that I recognize as a broadly shared experience with many other flavors of gender identity and sexuality minorities. And I need language like that to be able to say, hey, I recognize that across our diverse experiences, we've all been defined out of Normalcy whether or not we wanted to be. That's been placed on us, similar to the way that "non-white" and "people of color" are categories people are placed in by the hegemonic power of white supremacy, not because there's something inherently Other or Non about having skin darker than a Styrofoam cup, or because every other ethnic phenotype in the world shares some particular quality. The only quality they share is the way that whiteness Others them, and the quality I share with all other queer people is the way that heteronormativity Others all of us.

But it's used so often by so many other people as a signifier of some ideological commitment to an adequate level of Smashing the Patriarchy, and I'm not remotely interested in a vision of queerness that audits people's beliefs and motives and degree of radicalism, because for a lot of people, simply existing is as much radical disruption as they're able or willing to commit to, and that's frankly their business, not mine. Queer people spend our lives being judged and excluded, measured and found wanting. I'm just not up for a vision of queerness that imposes yet another external standard that people have to figure out how to meet in order to avoid hearing some version of "you're not queer, you're just a girl who likes girls" or whatever the current clever zing is about why they don't make the cut.

The world ascribes political meaning to our existence, it thinks that us merely wanting to live is "activism" and "radical leftism" and "the woke mind virus" or whatever the fuck. But we're not issues, we're fundamentally people, and presumably over the course of our lives we'll identify with any number of different issues and goals and beliefs, but we were people at birth and have always been and will always be people, and that is what I personally think should be at the center of whatever we're trying to do as a community, I think here you can be seen as the person you are is more impactful work than trying to make sure we don't accidentally embrace any Assimilationists.

I'm not saying there's nothing political about it when I call myself queer, but I am saying that the statement "gender and sexuality diversity is just part of the human experience, we are simply humans no matter what" is unfortunately already politicized. I wish it weren't. I wish that were just a thing I could believe in because it seems objectively true to me and it didn't have any particular politics attached to it. I would like my actual causes to be, like, climate change and food justice and socialized medicine! It's a bummer to me that I have to spend so much of my life asserting my own basic humanity, and I would like even more of the straight world to come around and join me in just not thinking my transness or my bisexuality are particularly fascinating aspects of my personality.

I don't know, I've just never been a "queer as in fuck you" person, and I never am going to be -- I can certainly get mad enough to be combative at times, but that's not fundamentally who I am or how I see the world. I like communities and I like getting along with people when I can, I like social safety nets and good neighbors and ethics of care, and I don't want people -- including me! -- to feel forced to the margins of their families and communities and churches and schools and jobs. I think it's good to want to belong to things and painful and often traumatic to be excluded and shunned. I know you do have to set some functional limits to your inclusion, paradox of tolerance and all that, but I also think you don't make a good life or a good world without some degree of learning to practice civility and coalition building and compromise. Those are the things that make communities, because if you can only deal with the people you easily mesh with, that's gonna end up being simply not enough people to survive.

So I want to draw boundaries wide, for practical purposes, and also because like I said, that is my core value, that people have inherent worth and dignity that doesn't depend on their actions or their ideas, but simply on the fact of their humanity. I think queer people need advocacy and need respect and need community even if I also think those people are full of shit, and my allegiance to the idea of queerness has always been about that respect -- that you don't need to justify exactly where you fit in order to fit here, that we make room for people to be themselves who have otherwise been told it's not okay to be themselves.

[undefeatablesin]

💕Positivity prime time! Share five things you love about yourself, four things you're excited about, OR three people you care deeply about and why. Pass this along to someone whose posts make you smile💕

Some positivity is exactly what the world needs right now! Thank you for thinking of and passing this message on to me ✨️

I would like to ramble about Four Exciting Things, since having things to look forward to is always helpful as a perspective check for me in particular and hopefully some other people can find something to feel excited about too! ✨️

1) I'm excited to continue refining my art until it reaches a quality I can be unambiguously proud of. We never stop growing as creatives, but we do eventually reach a baseline of accomplishment with our craft. I don't think I am at that baseline yet by a long shot. I have a lot to learn and even though I love the process of learning too, I look forward to the day that I feel accomplished in my work.

How that accomplishment can be defined though is different for everyone. It might be a tangible metric like mastering a certain medium, finding a style, finishing a project or creating a certain piece. Even something as simple as learning to draw a subject that's always stumped them. Sometimes its something more ambiguous, just the feeling or the sense of getting to where you wanted to be. Or in my case, a handful of these things all at once!

2) I'm excited to play new games. Since joining the Soulsborne community, I've been surrounded by incredible experiences, amazing art, beautiful music, thought-provoking discussions and more that has enriched my life beyond what I could ever have imagined. I'm always hungry for more though, and I am constantly looking forward to the next new adventure our community will set out upon even while I repeatedly replay the ones we already have.

That said, I do have my finger to the pulse of a certain imminent DLC right now in particular and I can't tell you how excited I am to finally play it!

3) I'm excited to one day step into the world of video, streaming and other similar creative pursuits. I've been talking about this for ages on my blog by now and have hesitated to commit to any of it, admittedly out of pure uncertainty. The internet is already so populated with skilled and established people that it can feel a little daunting to try and step into that arena as a newcomer.

In general, in a lot of spaces, it's easy to feel like you have nothing new or substantial to offer. But it's the individual themself that brings that newness and substance. Every person has their own cadence, their own style, their own ideas, their own quirks and nuances, their own personality. By and large, those are the things that sell people on your work more than the nature of the work itself in many cases.

It's also important to temper your expectations of yourself. Success often isn't what's important; it's whether you feel fulfilled by what you do. The needle obviously shifts quite a bit towards numbers and engagement and success when your craft is in fact your job, and that is a separate, more complicated conversation. But if your craft is not your business, don't trick yourself into treating it like a business, much less one that lives or dies by the number of likes, shares, views or any other metric it receives.

This is a lesson I've been trying to internalise: the point of creating is simply to create. I'm excited to finally embrace that idea and to fall in love with experimenting for the sheer joy of it again.

4) I'm excited to discover. There's so many things to see, smell, taste, hear and touch. There's millions of new experiences I can't even conceive of that are waiting for us, big or small, thrilling or mundane. Discovering a new song, a new piece of media, a new tool to draw with, a new technique to try, a new food to taste, a new friend to meet, a new idea, a new hobby.

There is always newness even in a world that feels stagnant. I look forward to the things I don't even know I am looking forward to yet. I think there is something very comforting in knowing that, inevitably, something new will come along to enrich our lives even in the smallest of ways, and it can happen today, tomorrow, next week or next year. The unknown can be full of frightening things, but it is equally filled with exciting ones. Even when I feel my worst, I try to remind myself to be excited for the little mysteries.

[loverboy-cc]

🤍 ,🤎 , ❤️ , 🧡 ,💚 for the profovember ask game !!

doing these with medic + sniper (tf2) and gopher wood (hsr) bearing in mind that I follow the fanon w red/blu medic being different and this is red medic. And like, everything w gopher wood is based on what little canon knowledge we have on him so I'm coming up with shit on the fly <3

also i'm not writing medic + snipers accents ily but I would absolutely butcher it

🤍 when did you first realize you were in love with s/i?

Medic - Well. I'm obligated to do an uberheart transplant on everyone who joins the team. He not only let me do it (without being subdued or forced!) but he kept coming back and letting me test things on him! We also had a bit of a moment when I caught him collecting the muscle tissue from a blu spy- he didn't even hesitate in offering to share!

(I can't think of anything for the other two :/ )

🤎 what was the first thing you remember gifting to s/i?

Medic - Bits of new glassware for his lab, it was his birthday right after we had met and he was planning on getting it himself.

Sniper - Bones. He always struck me as the weird sort who would like collecting them- and he does. He has a closet in his lab dedicated to cleaning the flesh off them.

Gopher - A dress he'd mentioned wanting. I'd been planning on gifting him something, but he had kept quiet about everything we passed by on our first date. I wasn't even sure if he wanted the dress, seeing as all he did was hesitate before walking past it.

❤️ is there anything you would like to do with s/i in the near future?

Medic - He owes me an experiment after his last little foray into toxins sent me to respawn (painfully, I should add)

Sniper - He's been holed up in his lab for a good bit- I'm not one to talk, but it'd be nice to have him stay with me in my camper awhile.

Gopher - I've been meaning to see if I can talk him into staying in Penacony. The boy is awfully headstrong though and he loves his job. So I can't imagine he will.

🧡 who worries more about the other?

Medic - Hm... Depends on how you define worry.

Sniper - I do. No hesitation. That man and his entire lab makes me nervous.

Gopher - I don't often worry about him, he's a capable young man.

💚 what does the perfect date look like to you?

Medic - Oh! I love making him dinner. Especially since he has similarly... unique tastes as me in terms of meat.

Sniper - Well, I like hunting yeah? And he likes cooking. So anytime I catch something nice we make dinner together.

Gopher - It's terribly corny, but I much prefer not going out at all. Especially since his work takes him across the cosmos, I'd much prefer to spend what little time I have with him at home.

[magnetarbeam]

I've just been forced to face the fact that Legends fans are a minority and it's really depressing, so now I'm going to think about my ridiculously self-indulgent Rogue Squadron Vestara AU.

The more think about it, the more I question how in-character it actually is for her to choose to do this. If the idea is to choose her own path, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense for her to choose a path that still puts her in a specific defined command structure where she doesn't actually have much freedom. Then again, Rogue Squadron historically isn't known for being particularly disciplined.

I guess if all she's trying to do is find herself. In canon we don't get to see her piloting much, but as far as I remember she enjoys the first flight she takes in Ship. I don't think it's too much of a stretch for her to want to exercise her piloting skill more, especially since the Lost Tribe don't really seem to use any fighters, and the helms of those shitty old Corporate Sector frigates would more likely be reserved for at least Sabers.

She enjoys flying, it's not a skill she's had much of a chance to use - at least not in regular ships - and she's trying to explore herself in new ways and stuff. I think it makes enough sense.

In terms of strict command structures, I think it would make a lot of difference for her that in a regular military, everyone isn't constantly plotting to stab each other in the back.

And, like, at this point Syal's more familiar with treason and knowing when you need to defy the command structure than Wedge was at her age. All that LotF angst has to have been good for something, and I've already talked about some of my headcanons for what happened to her after she ended up among the Jedi in Fury.

I'm operating under the vague assumption that this story is supposed to be continuitous (if that's even a word) to Guiding Star, which is the theoretical story that details the events that Syal and Wedge and Tycho and Gavin went through while Revelation but mostly Invincible happened. An important part of her character in LotF is that by Fury, she's come to question her own judgement as much as she questions her superiors, and I haven't planned it very much, but I assume part of her arc in Guiding Star involves her resolving that, and that she now believes she has enough experience to determine for herself whether the current government is or isn't worth spending lives for.

(Side note: 44 ABY is the year Syal turns 27, which makes her probably the same age here as Wedge is in the first X-Wing book, and I love that symmetry, trivial though it is.)

I've been thinking of it as Vestara actually joining the Rogues three or four months after FotJ (on a ten-month in-universe calendar), so by now Ves has had plenty of time to gain experience with X-Wings, and learn from most of the best pilots alive. Also, at this point, Syal's had enough time to consider Wynn Dorvan's decisions as the next Chief of State and decide the GA under him is worth spending lives for. He is a genuinely good guy, FotJ just puts him in bad situations constantly.

According to at least Luke, Daala was doing a fine job until FotJ. Syal wouldn't have agreed with Daala's actions during FotJ, but in the timeskip, at least, I think Syal would have probably continued to lead the version of the Rogues that she inherited at the end of the Second Galactic Civil War.

(Second side note: I'd like some kind of story that actually demonstrates Daala having done a good job as Chief of State.)

The other pilots on Rogue Squadron at this point are a point of much questioning.

I'm going with the idea that there was another reorganization of the squadron after the end of FotJ, to update the roster. At least half the point of Rogue Squadron is political symbolism and representation and stuff, and there are some educated guesses to be made from that.

In addition to Syal herself, a convenient addition is Zueb Zan, the Sullustan who was her gunner when she flew Alephs. That's a relationship Syal already has, and what little there is to see of him in canon makes me like him enough.

The other canon character I can think of to add here is Drathan Forge, Inyri's great-nephew who shows up briefly at the end of Outcast, when they have to blow up the ancient artifacts beneath the mines of Kessel before said artifacts blow up the planet. In that scene, Drathan claims to be a skilled pilot, and says he has provisional Academy acceptance, and that he'd have to keep his grades up for another year. So the end of FotJ is about when he'd be getting in. If this is a few months after that, I'd find it acceptable for him to get into the Rogues on the basis of skill and family history. Hells, Inyri didn't have any formal training.

Anyway, the implicitly successful diplomatic reintegration of at least the major players of the Confederation during FotJ leads to the roster including a token Bothan and also a token Commenorian. The whole Treaty of Vontor issue results in a token Klatooinian or something. Syal herself is Corellian, obviously.

Drathan, I expect, is a representative of the various corporate enterprises currently operated by Lando. I think in Outcast, Lando has a line about how he's selling to the private sector since the SGCW (maybe before that), and if I recall correctly that implies that he's potentially enabling stuff like YVH droids to end up in the hands of enemies of the Alliance.

I'd buy the Alliance having someone who's from Kessel, another one of Lando's operations, in Rogue Squadron as an attempt to convince Tendrando Arms to be more loyal to them.

Anyway, Vestara's role in this is as both a token Jedi and a token ex-Sith. She's not ready to commit to the Jedi path yet, but if she doesn't fully leave the Order and instead is still being trained by Luke on the side, they might play her up as proof that despite the Jedi Order leaving the Alliance's authority and stuff, they haven't abandoned the Alliance completely. That would be especially important in the aftermath of the end of FotJ, and how I've decided the official line of the GA is that Abeloth was an instrument of the Sith. Especially, but not necessarily, if I decide to work this plotline into Voices of the Force, where her influence stretched far beyond Coruscant.

Also, the fact that Vestara used to be a Sith is useful too. Between Abeloth and Caedus, hate for the Sith is probably the highest it's been since... I don't even know. The highest it's been in millennia, maybe. Even Palpatine, as I recall, wasn't nearly as public about it in his life as Caedus was at the end.

If they can show people a former Sith who's been redeemed, the Jedi might prevent public opinion from going so far as to approve, for example, Kesh being glassed and its mostly innocent population killed. The Alliance doesn't know where it is, so that's not an immediate concern, but it is a concern nonetheless.

That's still only seven out of twelve.

I think Vestara's new girlfriend is someone in a position of a friend to the Rogues, but not actually in their command structure, because that way it won't get weird if one of them gets promoted.

Another headcanon I have is that the age of majority in the Galactic Alliance is 14, a relic of the strategic realities of the late stages of the Vong War, so theoretically there's no rule preventing people Vestara's age from having a position here.

[fairycosmos]

do you think with 21 i'm too old to go back to uni for a different degree? i'm gonna drop out bc i can't do law it's killing me it's too hard and i'm too dumb but i want to study political science maybe.... (i'll be 22 if i start next summer) but i want to throw up just thinking about my future, i'm too old and i'll probably have no job in the future and i don't know what to do 😭

not at all!! you're literally still college age and this whole period of your life is about deciding for yourself what you want to do and where you want to go, and it's normal for that whole process to be confusing and tiring and long. but besides that, there are so many people in college who are older than just the typical 18-22yr old's, it is so so common and it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. everyone is on their own timeline and their own trajectory, there is quite literally no wrong way to do it because it's your experience to live. people go back to college/change majors for all sorts of reasons, it happens all of the time - you genuinely won't be the only one in this boat if you decide to do it. that being said, i understand your anxiety and what a nerve wracking decision this must be. i think feeling scared at this stage is completely natural, and it must be extremely painful to have to deal with, but i also think time will lessen it in one way or another, too. anyway - you're not, by any stretch of the imagination, "too old" to pursue something that doesn't make you want to die. i'm not even sure there is such a thing as that. i appreciate what a big deal this is and that it must all feel very heavy, but i hope you can consider prioritizing yourself and your own wants and needs going forward. also, if there's anyone you're able to talk to about this - a college counsellor or advisor, i would really recommend it. they may be able to quell some of your worries and answer some of your questions in a more substantial way that i can. whatever you do in the future, please know that your job status/college career doesn't define your worth as a human being, and that if you have the opportunity to go after what you want rather than what you think you should want, it's ok to take it. if you feel it's the best thing for you, which is ultimately what matters here. sending a massive hug. x

[aziraphalalala]

She stepped closer, understanding in her eyes.

“So, he left you… for a job opportunity?”

“Nngggghhhyyeeaaaah, you could say that.”

“Well, good riddance. If he didn’t choose you, he doesn’t deserve you.”

“He kind of does, you know.”

This snippet comes from my first ever fic, "In the bookshop, after". I promised I'd answer any asks with 500 words from anywhere on any fic I've written here, so, here we are. Author rambling meta, served piping hot, coming up!

Why did I write this fic?

This fic, albeit a short one-shot, was written in the emotional aftershock of *points finger at the last 15 minutes of Good Omens S2E6*.

The second season finally unleashed a burst of creativity and a desire to write in me that had been lying in wait for quite some time. Suddenly, I had so many ideas, and I needed to let it all out somehow. I drew. I sang. I wrote shitty poetry. I returned to tumblr to scream about Good Omens with everyone else.

Once I wrote this fic, it was like opening a Pandora's Box. I can no longer stop, nor do I want to. Writing gives me life. I enjoy it so much I am now writing a multi-chapter human AU fic which will end up being around 30,000 words. In less than 2 months.

It's crazy, and glorious.

Anyway, back to this snippet.

The characters, the dialogue, the context

This unnamed lady, who steps in to the bookshop as Crowley is slowly but steadily consuming quite extraordinary amounts of alcohol, has an uncanny way of picking up things she shouldn't be able to.

Crowley and the lady have a conversation which happens on multiple levels, especially for Crowley. He ends up being painfully honest, secure in his knowledge that most of it goes over the head of this random person.

We, the readers, are not sure whether that's truly the case. She appears rather unusually perceptive.

I have plans for that random person, and a whole backstory for her. I might write it one day. That fic would go a long way explaining her side of this conversation.

But for now, we don't really know her, and we leave it at that.

What was I thinking as I wrote this?

This moment, these lines, draw heavily from my own life. I, too, once imagined that love is an emotion that in itself can be enough for a relationship. Experience, sometimes harshly, has taught me that in the end, our actions and choices are more important than our intentions and emotions.

Does this person choose me? Do they prioritize my needs? Do they make an effort, day in day out, to make our relationship work?

This is the lesson the lady wishes to drill into Crowley. And if it were any other person in the world, a friend of mine for example, I'd tell them to move on. Good riddance. They don't choose you, they don't deserve you.

But. Aziraphale and Crowley have been friends, enemies and co-conspirators for six millennia. How does one even begin to define the complexities of their relationship?

Have they not, consistently, worked to keep each other safe, to find short moments together that they can share in secret?

Their relationship is a relationship that thrives despite being forbidden. Despite the fear that's ever present in their lives.

Some word choice trivia.

"Job opportunity" is a very purposeful choice, because it's a slightly revolting business jargon term. It's jarring, seeing it in the context of Good Omens and our two supernatural beings. It implies, heavily, that it's a bullshit opportunity, meaning it's not what it seems to be. It implies that the lady thinks Aziraphale made the stupidest choice on the planet for something that isn't worth it.

Crowley kinda agrees, but not whole-heartedly, because I believe he knows Aziraphale had very little choice in the end.

And, let's face it. Being an angel of Heaven is basically a shitty corporate job that sucks the life and soul out of you.

"He kind of does, you know." This is where the conversation really happens on a few different levels. Since Crowley understands why Aziraphale did what he did (at least in my head), he still has hope that they can be together, in the end. That they are, in fact, fighting the same fight, on the same side.

Finally.

I'll leave it to all of you to decide whether the lady truly knows what's up when we say "She stepped closer, understanding in her eyes."

Does she understand, think she understands, or do we misinterpret her expression? Again, how is she there? How can she just pick up the conversation, and so many details without being told?

One day I hope we'll find out.

Thanks for the ask, anon! This was fun. 😊

[sleepy-shutin]

one thing i keep thinking about the more i get out of my isolation and actually start doing things is the fact that i actually like want to have hobbies now. like for fun. before i didn't really do much other than draw, write, watch youtube videos, play video games and scroll through social media. i didn't really do much of anything. now that i have a job and i actually am living my life now, i want to actually have hobbies and it's probably related to wanting to better myself and like get better and move on from the horrible 9 years i spent my life, but like it's genuinely weird to me. i want to have hobbies. i don't always have the energy for them, but i want to do things now. amazing, how having control over your life and doing the things that make you happy and being able to get out of the house like makes you want to be alive and stuff.

like, you know how during covid people started doing things like baking and spending time with their families and all that jazz for like a couple of weeks or months, and then after that everyone started going crazy with isolation and fear and mental health problems? it was like that but stretched over 9 years where at first i wanted to do things, and then i got stuck for several years until towards the end when i was finally allowed to get a job. lol. and even almost 2 years in i still feel like i'm still 'settling' into it, but like i'm getting to the point where i actually want to do things with my life and i want to figure out how to put the things i want to do with my life into my life every once in a while.

and one thing about my insane trauma is that it has made me completely and utterly normal about serizawa katsuya from mob psycho, like jesus christ. there has not been a person normaler about this man than me. i know exactly how he feels about most things and nobody talks about how the isolation affects you and how you become after that many years out of contact with most people and not doing anything. this is the only character that i have ever seen in my entire existence on the internet that has this kind of experience that i also had. having a relatively normal life (don't ask me to define normal), then all of it implodes and suddenly things are different for many years and you don't leave the house or talk to people or do anything. ever. for a long, long time.

and then you come out of it and you're in the same town you grew up in but things are different now and you're a weirdo that nobody remembers because you didn't really leave the house for 9 years, but people at your job are nice to you and treat you mostly normal anyway which is nice.

i don't even know what's gotten into me tonight, i'm just like all over the place and i feel insane and i just feel like publicly journaling about it instead of not journaling about it privately. i haven't journaled about anything properly in months, but it's fine because i'm doing it now i guess.

anyways. tldr, forget reigen. serizawa is my babygirl. i do not have any trauma and i'm very fine and normal.

[akindplace]

Hi, I wanted to say that i really love your page and the content you post there, it's very comforting. I don't know where to start, but I recently I have been doing some sort of introspection of myself since I have been thinking about my future d I have realised that I seem to care a bit much about other people's feelings and expectations about me, as if I don't have a personality that represents me ?? Sometimes I worried it might cause me some problems. Like for example people see me as someone who is "serious", " a hard-working student", "quiet", "perfect", these traits are negative but it feels like I "trapped" in these labels ? And also I think it might be because I feel frustrated with school/college academically wise so there is that (I like studying but I feel I let grades define my worth, so it's not really healthy. It's something I have been dealing with a lot)

And I also feel frustrated and anxious in general because I actually don't know what to do, I just want to have a peaceful and quiet life, financial stability and being private about personal stuff, which are things that I can't seem to find. I just want to mind my business and keep my internal peace but it's almost impossible 🥲

Everyday feels a burden to me, living is exhausting sometimes, I keep worrying about serious stuff and I think it reflects on my behaviour/ social interactions 🙃

If it’s possible for you right now maybe talking this things through in therapy can help you figure yourself out. By what you’ve mentioned, you’re probably still in your early twenties and you probably still have a lot to learn about yourself, and that will happen as you grow older, but don’t put too much pressure to have it all known now, to have it all together. It’s okay to look for different jobs until you find one career you like, that provides you more stability. I’ve been talking to a few people about stuff like this and I feel like everyone thought they’d be in a different place in there late 20s/early 30s and it kind of feels like everyone is just winging it. I think when we were younger we thought adults had a lot more freedom and they were very mature and wise, and I realize they probably were just winging too.

Your goals are worth it, and it’s okay to want just want a peaceful life especially cause the world seems to be anything but right now… and it’s really hard not to crave stability when you know it’s been hard to achieve. Those things are worth trying and it’s okay if it takes time to figure out what to do. It gets a little better as you grow and you start caring less about people’s expectations because you learn what makes you happy and that most of the time people’s ideas on what should make you happy aren’t necessarily a fact. If no one lives with your choices but you, then you should get to choose (based on your experiences, and it’s okay to try out a ton of different things). You kinda start to realize that people pleasing usually means you sacrifice a lot of yourself and it gets easier to choose yourself.

A few years ago I felt like I had no personality and like I needed to please people or else something terrible would happen, but the only terrible thing happening was that I was miserable. People pleasing is still something I struggle with, but in a lot of ways I figured out who I was outside of the people I knew and their expectations, and I started to figure out where I wanted to go from there.

The tldr here is that you still have time to figure out and to go little by little until you find what makes you comfortable. Don’t pressure yourself too much to have life mapped out, and don’t let those pressures come from other people either, if it’s possible. They don’t get to tell you the best way to be an adult, because no one has it all figured out. I really hope things get better and that you find the stability you want.