#everyone's experience is different and I don't think it's my job to define an experience for someone else. ultimately only the person

[musical-chick-13]

Do you think being an ugly woman or going through puberty as a girl can be traumatic?

I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask this, as I am not a medical professional or researcher, just a very mentally ill lady.

But, as far as I see it, anything can be traumatic. It depends on a variety of situational factors-how other people react to what's happening, how they treat you, what your body and mind do in response to an event, how impactful or prolonged the event in question is. I'm reluctant to say that anything is inherently traumatic, (just because everyone is going to respond to every situation or combination of situations differently). But I don't think there's anything that exists that could never be traumatic in any situation, either. (And this gets even more complicated when you factor in something like PTSD or other illnesses that have triggers, especially ones that might not read as "obvious" to the average person.) If someone ostracizes you or refuses to understand your identity or ignores or belittles what you're going through, and if you don't have access to various personal needs because people are mistreating or neglecting you for things you can't control, I can absolutely believe that would incite a trauma response.

I'd really recommend reading this analysis/explanation of what, exactly, trauma is. It really helped me make sense of some of my experiences and solidify my own feelings toward the concept of trauma as a whole. It also has a link to some resources from the trauma and PTSD library, which I think are far more equipped to provide adequate answers than I could be.

[lizmidfordsblog]

Who is Cale Henituse? And Who is Kim Rok Soo?

In a previous post, I mentioned how OG!Cale's The Birth of a Hero future was Kim Rok Soo's worst nightmare. Raon never lived. The Henituse County was razed to the ground. Eruhaben was likely killed off by the Dragon Half-Blood or the White Star.

How do we know that was his worst nightmare? Because Kim Rok Soo (KRS) has already lived through it with the cataclysm and everything that unfolded afterward. I'm currently writing a thesis on the fluidity of identity, and the sheer lack of staticness of KRS's entire life & his personhood is physically staggering.

Orphanhood, child abuse and alienation are all examples of instability we see reflected in real life. They don't necessarily have to connote instability, but in KRS's case, they did. Shifting from different homes, in the care of (or lack thereof) of different adults etc. These are age old tales, of children aging out of systems and working hard to get into college to support themselves. Here, KRS stands out as one example out of thousands.

But the author takes this to the next level; in the Cataclysm, that already fragile sense of identity is fully squashed.

During the Sloth Test, Kim Rok Soo defines his high school experience as uneventful and peaceful. He's finally out of his abusive situation and can reset, can lay down his roots. He begins to develop goals, fosters connections (however little they are) and has the drive to reach for those goals through working jobs. The moment he dares to dream of more, the Cataclysm takes place in what can arguably be a moment in Earth 2's history that revamped every single human being's identity.

Once, Lee Soo Hyuk (LSH) was a third rate actor playing extras. Now he's lowkey the hope of the diminishing Korean population. He's the only Ability User with two (recorded) abilities.

Once, Kim Rok Soo (KRS) was an orphan working in a restaurant earning money to attend college. He'd made something out of himself, no matter how little or fragile it was.

Now he's effectively nothing, as is enforced and told to him by literally everyone in this new society that prioritizes efficiency & usefulness over all else. He states it himself, considers it true himself: he was useless until he activated his own Abilities.

Then we have the dismantlement of the central shelters, then latter on a period of stability where he forges bonds with Choi Jung Soo (CJS) and Lee Soo Hyuk (LSH). He again, finds a place for himself in a broken world. And what happens? That, too, disappears.

Kim Rok Soo is someone used to change, placing and taking down different masks in order to survive. The irony of his existence is how he literally gets his soul swapped, another complete revamp of his identity. He's no longer Kim Rok Soo (not that he had much attachment to it, as KRS emphasizes throughout the novel) but rather he's Cale Henituse now. With all the connotations of the word.

I chose to write my fic specifically to interrogate this shift of identity. In TCF canon, we never really get to understanding the implications of OG!Cale's disappearance from the perspective of his loved ones. I adore KRS with all my heart, and cackle at all the 'trash' comedy going on. But I also think about the sheer tragedy of no one realizing OG!Cale was missing, or that KRS had replaced him. That's not on Choi Han, Raon or any of the family members KRS has gained post-transmigration.

It makes me think of just how alienated OG!Cale purposefully made himself that-- forget Deruth (who I can expect to be busy with work) but Ron, who was by his side every day did not realize. That's terrifying; it makes you wonder, what makes a person themselves? Their physical body, their soul, or their personality?

If KRS!Cale suddenly switched bodies back, would any of his family members realize?

(I know they would, cue our Dark Tiger quite literally recognizing KRS in the Sealed God Test, but think about it!!)

Jules works as a character because she's someone from OG!Cale's past, who knew him intimately (as close as a family member), and hence, at the realization that this is not him-- is understandably and rightfully equal parts pissed and scared. The funniest part is, this fic was never meant to be a romance, I was just toying with the idea of someone who actually knew OG!Cale before KRS took over, finding out about the soul swap. I'm really excited to see how the author tackles this with Ron & Beacrox in Part 2, who have long begun to suspect our beloved KRS!Cale.

Actually, this makes me think of Alberu, who's doing some identity swapping/obscuring of his own. I wrote a bit about it in to your eternity, but I might do a separate post just waxing poetry about the sheer beauty of him as a foil to our beloved Cale. And Choi Han. And OG!Cale. Ughhh!! Even Eruhaben, himself (as someone who has had a fixed identity/personhood across his thousand years) acts as a foil to Kim Rok Soo, who flips between identities like they're clothes. And who, ironically, has this change satirized via different characters always misunderstanding him (calling him a dragon, thinking he's a god etc.).

Any way, that is my daily dose of mental breakdowns courtesy of our favorite slacker. Sorry if I kept rambling obvious things, its just that every time I reread the novel, I'm just blown back by the characters. TCF, as it's core, isn't a plot-driven story but rather a character-driven on. It's heart is in it's found family and I think that's beautiful.

If you liked this post, or wanna geek over these characters more, shoot me a text! I'm always down!

Also, feel free to check out my fic! I currently have a chapter out talking about Beacrox & his displacement from his home/finding a new one with the Henituses.

[lightandfellowship]

I actually find the topic of "Nomura's evolving art style as he takes on more and more responsibility at Square (and subsequently has less time to Do Stuff)" really fascinating.

Like, If you compare his art from the KH1-DDD era to his current day art, I think there's a noticable difference to his approach: how many steps there are in his art process, how he chooses to finish a piece, and the shift from a clean digital style to a more organic traditional one.

He used to use very clean, black lineart; bold colors; and more instances of defined/hard shading for that digital, almost cell-shaded or vector kinda look. Nowadays he goes for a more sketchy + watercolor style with pencil lineart, broad washes of faded color, and color shading that's a bit more blended and simplified in places (relying more on the pencil shading to create distinct shadows), with the hard edges more often reserved for scattered, bright highlights. (He's made art like this in the past eras too, such as the KH main menu arts which all have a watercolor quality to them, but the lineart was a bit more defined then and less sketchy, and thus slightly different from his current stuff.)

I think the Dark Road key art is a very good example of his current art style. The sketchy, almost brown lineart. The watercolor quality that emerges where two colors meet and overlap. A little desaturated and earthy. Color shading that's very broad, soft, and loose, with sharp highlights here and there.

Both styles have their merits (I personally love this sketchy era of his), but I think it's pretty likely that he adopted this as his "main" art style in order to adapt to time crunch. He doesn't need to do time-consuming lineart and precise shading anymore; he can use the original sketch as the lineart instead. Heck, he can fill in a bunch of the shading via pencil during this sketching phase to save even more time, and then can paint in a more watercolor-y kind of way that allows him to color in quicker, broader strokes.

And then there's the occasional art mistake that has become a bit more frequent in recent years, by my estimation. Which I imagine, again, is due to running out of time to notice/fix those mistakes. Things like Ephemer's arms being a bit too long in this UX art, the Kingdom Key being slightly off-model in this anniversary art, or the ears on this Mickey Mouse symbol being two different sizes on this Utada album art.

(Which isn't to say that he hasn't made art mistakes in the previous eras, for example he initially got the colors of Riku's shirt mixed up in the Re:CoM cover art before fixing it, but I still think the mistakes were a bit less frequent back then.)

And like, hey. I draw, too. Amatuerishly, but I do. I don't blame Nomura for possibly needing to change his approach to making art in order to meet deadlines, nor do I blame him for these little art mistakes that ended up falling through the cracks. I imagine he simply doesn't have the time anymore now that his job has shifted from (primarily) being a character designer/illustrator to (primarily) being a director of multiple, simultaneous projects. Or maybe I'm totally wrong about this and his art evolution had nothing to do with time crunch, who knows. I think his current art style is gorgeous either way!

Anyway, I just think this is an interesting example of someone taking their art and adapting it to a difficult and highly limiting situation, experimenting with new things and finding the means to still make art even when you have less time to do. Also a great example that professionals are human and will make mistakes even in professional products, and it's not the end of the world, it just happens. If you ever obsess over a mistake in your art...maybe take solace in knowing that it happens to everyone. Even people who have been in their field for a very long time.

[creatingblackcharacters]

Where is the line when it comes to calling out how people draw black characters? Im genuinely asking. Just did some digging in the elphaba tag. 28/35 of the top art did a great job of depicting her microbraids. Of those 7 that did a bad job, all but 2 of them put in effort to draw microbraids, its just that some of those artists arent very good. So… theyre practicing. Additionally, there were 2 pieces of art (in addition to that 35) that were clearly depicting the musical and book art (obvious fans for years, from before cynthia was cast and the movie). So… wheres the line? Do we call out just those 2 who didnt put in a real effort to draw her microbraids? Do we call out all 7 who didnt draw them well? Do we message them privately, even though we really dont know them at all besides this one piece we happened to come across? Do we send them an ask about it and hope they arent malicious? It stands to reason that they KNOW they should put in an effort, theyre in the *obvious* minority of artists in this fandom so… odds are they do not give a fuck about depicting Black hairstyles well. I dont want to make a fuss where its not beneficial, especially as a non black person, for the obvious reasons of how fandoms typically treat black fans. But, there IS an issue, however small a percentage… so wheres the line?

I must admit, this one gave me an off vibe 😅 To one of your concerns, Let me put it this way:

"I know that Nazi will never change his mind, so I'll let him keep speaking loudly in the room where I and everyone else is sitting. It won't make a difference if I say anything to him. If we ignore him, he'll go away."

Is that true?

Or will speaking up let that Nazi know that at least ONE person in the room hears their bullshit and doesn't accept it? Will speaking up let the people in the room that the Nazi was targeting realize that everyone else in the room isn't also a Nazi that condones the way they're being treated? Will it allow them to feel stronger in speaking up? Will it at least show that you are not a fellow Nazi, because your actions are what deliver- and silence and tolerance delivers nothing, in this case?

"Making a fuss where it's not beneficial"- I always say here that my entire purpose is not to change your minds, but to shatter the excuse of your ignorance. I could have always just ended it with "everyone's a goddamn racist for funsies on here and I hate all of you"- because in my experience when we talk about "where's the line" on here, it's almost non-existent for the majority, not the minority! It's incredibly tempting to damn you all!

Instead, I made an entire blog to give people a chance. If I, who actually undergoes the very bigotry I teach about, have the grace to do that for you, I do believe that everyone else can reach inside for the strength to apply and hold accountable. There's always a benefit to speaking up against racism and injustice, even if it's not "changing their mind".

Now, if you genuinely just don't want to do that, then don't- but recognize that that's not because nothing can be done! That said, you don't have to fight every battle, and every battle doesn't have to be a fight! For those who you genuinely think are just "new" or "learning" artists, when you point out the issue, you can offer guidance. "Hey, here's an idea on how to better capture this braid pattern in a way that more accurately reflects Black hair". It doesn't have to be a "callout" off rip. If they don't take it well, then that's on them. That's a reflection of their character, not yours. And as a nonblack person, that is a role in your allyship that is important, because I don't expect Black people to have to show grace and teach to those who do wrong by us.

So no, I can't give you some statistically defined line of "oh this is antiblackness". because it's not that simple and it never has been.

[ri47]

I wasn't sure to send this to your main or to here, but figured you might have a smaller inbox here (sad). How do you structure your plans for whatever project you're working on at the moment? Do you have one big document with all the relevant lore and other misc docs for scripts, etc? When planning the game, did you make a game design document? Or do you do something else entirely?

I recognize that everyone does things differently. But I've long struggled with the actual planning of things, namely it seems to take me forever because I can't decide on a format, especially the format of a game script.

Thanks for the time if you decide to answer. Love reading about all your stuff!

this is going to be more informal than my usual answers (a high bar!) but that kind of fits the format of my planning anyway

I'm a bit of a boomer when it comes to handling my projects, not out of a specific aversion or affinity or anything along those lines, but out of simple desire to do whatever I'm doing forever and never bother asking questions about how to do anything else. it's a comfort zone of mine that would cause a lot of other people to completely lose their minds

I do not write lore bibles in any meaningful sense. when designing a setting, I define a personal limitation of scope, imply things one layer outside of it, and then define the most granular aspect of the setting that I'm interested in talking about with a few layers of implied depth below it, which I may or may not be willing to actually dig into

this lends to me most often writing apocalyptic fiction (notably not post-apocalyptic) about the proceedings towards the end of time. I find it most comfortable to know how things end, and then write backwards from that end like I'm carving pathways off of the timeline. this also means it's much more difficult to write myself into a corner, because I start in the ultimate corner and resolve it before figuring out how I got there

of course, you mention getting caught up in pulling the trigger on which format you want to use, so I'll answer that one pretty bluntly

no matter what you are making, if it has a story, text will be involved. start writing what you wanted to write, and when you come to a point where you think it would be nice to allow the reader/player/etc interaction with what you are writing, the medium it would be most comfortable in should reveal itself to you

there is absolutely nothing at all more miserable than trying to write stories into the flesh of a game that won't take them. if you have a team, it may be their job to make this work, but if you are alone, you should relieve yourself of that responsibility. build the skeleton first, then wrap the meat around it, and deliver it as such

there are no hard rules to format, and at most primitive, there is nothing at all stopping you from simply releasing the text of your work with whichever piecemeal components you've decided would benefit the experience. if you need something a specific format can give you, then adopt it

if you can't figure it out when that time comes, talk to someone you care about and describe what it is you're working on

saying it out loud, it might occur to you what exactly you need to convey your story best, and then, again, you will have your format after you have your contents

take care! and don't be afraid to take your own unfinished works for salvage parts. or your finished ones for that matter. one hour spent reworking thirty hours of work will save you thirty-and-twenty wasted hours

[mscaseys]

Cheering and screaming at your previous replies because of how spot-on they are every time about the insane reception of Gemma and the subsequent violence/racism because... yes. Yes. YES. It's tiring, it's exhausting, all the twists and turns to try and erase her character and relationships, the whole "shipping her with everyone under the sun except her husband" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So TRUE, hello what the fuck. Normally I'd be cool with all the multishipping and fucking around with canon for fun purposes, again it's fun, but isn't it just WEIRD how there seems to be barely anything about Gemma and Mark?? How limited the conversation is, how one-sided the fandom is? Sincerely, outside people's own preferences or ships, it feels bizarre to just omit one of the fundamental storylines of the show, which is "her death creates a black hole in Mark's life-clinical depression-lumon manipulates Mark into taking a severed job-oblivious encounters on the severed floor-realization that she's alive and being experimented on-revelation that a fully-fleshed-out conscious character has been suffering in unspeakable ways for 2 years-subsequent plan to rescue her-heartbreaking reunion" oh also I forgot the fact that they're still devoted to each other, so why isn't that considered a compelling enough narrative? Why are Mark and Gemma bastardized to the point of stupidity by the same people I wonder? I seriously feel like I'm hallucinating in this fandom.

hello anon! yes i do think it is strange the way people dismiss gemma and mark, i can understand if they're not your cup of tea (not really) but the way people talk about them and gemma in particular is really strange! like i'm not going to forget before 2x07 aired people were theorising/hoping that mark was abusive to gemma, that she faked her own death (there are still people who think that), that he was the one that crashed the car because he was drunk driving (don't you think he would be in jail if that were the case), the list goes on. and now they're claiming markgemma would get divorced, or that mark was going to sign divorce papers the night she died, like what are you even saying?

the way i can't even gemma/markgemma post in peace without the random hate ask in my inbox... like it's just #weird that people are that offended by me talking about a character/ship they claim is insignificant to their show. and it's just weird in general that they would react that negatively to any love for gemma/markgemma. honestly i've spent months giving people the benefit of the doubt but recently my third eye opened and i realised it's actually insane the way people act about them so i will not be doing that anymore.

it's funny that people will do ANYTHING to discredit gemma's weight in the narrative (i.e. no screen time, no personality, all her storylines tied to mark etc), especially when a huge chunk of the fandom takes characters with significantly lesser screen time than her and give them headcanons to justify liking them. so idk why we are acting like screen time is the defining factor to liking a character, sometimes we are just drawn to certain characters and is that not enough (*insert my post about the racism in the fandom*)? and for what it's worth, i personally love gemma's storylineS and i think she's pretty nuanced from what we've seen. a lot of her scenes aren't really in your face and you can really come up with different interpretations of her actions (i thought we liked doing that?) especially her testing floor timeline. it's like people's brains shut off the minute she's on screen because she's a 'threat' to their pairing which i mean, far be it for me to police how people watch shows but that's such a reductive way to consume media.

i think a lot of people thought the whole markgemma storyline was 'gemma was mark's past that he needs to move on from' and were upset when they realised that this was not the story the show was trying to tell. the fact that they made gemma a Real character in 2x07 combined with the fact that markgemma got to reunite in the finale (and immediately embraced each other) shattered any theories that they didn't love each other anymore, and that gemma was not going to be another throwaway love interest. i personally never thought they'd ever ever reunite (or if they did maybe in season 53) so you could say that reunion scene was my super bowl. it's awful the way the fandom treats them but it's not going to stop me from posting 329030 times a day about them, idk. at some point you have to curate your own fandom experience which is what i'll be doing x

[nyxtickled]

You said your partner is disabled like is it okay if you wanna tell what happened to her cause in the videos she seems fine ?

Ohh and don't respond if it makes you uncomfortable I will understand.

Thankyou 😊

hi anon. i know there are two possibilities here: 1) you truly don’t mean any harm and you are just confused and curious, or 2) you’re well aware that this question and the way it was worded is a bit short-sighted, ignorant and potentially even rude so that’s why you asked anonymously.

i tend to always give the benefit of the doubt when i receive questions like this because my goal in kink is to educate rather than to shame, so i want that goal to carry over into all of my answered asks, whether about kink or not, even if they have the potential to be written with the utmost audacity. as such, i’ll respond to you as though you’re representing option 1.

there are a plethora of disabilities that are considered “invisible” or otherwise unnoticeable to many from an outsider looking in. my gf (and myself as well, if you’d like to get super technical but this is about her so we won’t talk about me here) has quite a few of these, including hypermobile joints as a result of a connective tissue disorder (hence how bendy and flexible she is when she restrains me in crazy surprising ways in our videos), postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome which causes spikes in heart rate and drops in blood pressure almost every time she stands up and causes her to get dizzy and have to hold onto something (i actually have this too but not quite as severely), and chronic fatigue syndrome which causes an unending sensation of debilitating and intense exhaustion even with little to no exertion (i have this severely and the best way i can describe is to tell you to imagine how exhausted you feel when you stay up all night and then have to go to work or school the next day, except imagine feeling like that every time you wake up no matter how much sleep you get).

these are only the top 3 of many that she deals with daily, but they are the best examples of disabilities that cause a major impact on one’s daily life that aren’t necessarily visible to the naked eye. she hasn’t been able to work since 2022 due to fainting and busting her chin open on the job. being disabled is so much more than having to use mobility aids, or missing limbs, or having an injury that makes it easy for total strangers to think someone’s disability is valid.

what i show everyone here on my blog consists of our best tickle moments together. what you don’t see is the buildup that led to us being able to film, like pep talks, excessive planning, taking medication to alleviate pain, etc. what you also don’t see is the recovery time, exhaustion, soreness/inflammation my gf might experience from rolling around with me and using her hypermobile joints and flexibility to wrap around me and pin me in crazy ways, the flare-ups that can last days as a result of us having a particularly rowdy session with each other, etc. this is why i have to ask everyone who discusses custom commissions with me to be patient, so if you’re reading this and you’ve ordered a custom but you’re still waiting, i appreciate you very much. and i’m sure i have probably already told you this, but it will be made, no doubt about that, we simply can’t rush it and we can’t predict our limitations.

in the future, anon, i would encourage you to leave out the part where you say “in the video she seems fine” when you ask someone what their disabilities are. many disabled people “look fine” and once you realize that, you may be able to understand more about the spectrum of disability as a whole. it’s like autism, or adhd, or gender, or literally anything else on a spectrum. it’s not defined by what you see at first glance, and there are many different ways to identify. and that identity has nothing to do with how you appear on the surface.

exene & i are hugely open to talking about/advocating for anyone with chronic illness/disabilities in public spaces, so it’s not the question itself that was problematic. it’s just the presumptions that came along with it. i hope this helps 💓

[gellavonhamster]

Thoughts on The Witcher now that I've finished the books (or rather, finished the main saga - I'm aware there are some prequels? side stories?? but idk when I'll get to them, definitely not now)

On the whole, it's great! I think what I enjoyed the most is how... experimental it felt? I went in convinced it's going to be classic high fantasy, but it starts out already as a very different thing, namely fairytale parody/retelling, and then it accumulates progressively more and more various elements - non-linear narrative, different framing devices, time jumps into the future, time travel, parallel universes, the-butterfly-effect kinda thing with that disease from another world, even a crossover with Arthuriana. And all that with drama and humour going hand in hand - here's a description of a bloody battle, it happened next to a village called Old Bums (I don't know how it's called in the English translation but in the Russian one it's Старые Жопки and I laughed so fucking hard). It sounds like it's too much, too eclectic, and it shouldn't work, but holy shit it works. I am very impressed.

(Regarding the crossover with Arthuriana, my first instinct was to grumble that this Galahad doesn't feel like Galahad at all, but then I decided it's another deconstruction like with the fairytales in the first two books. What if the Beauty was more monstrous than the Beast? What if Galahad was a normal lad?)

Another thing I enjoyed was the focus on ordinary people (a word which here means "all humanoid races that exist in a given fantasy story"). When I was reading it, I couldn't help comparing it to A Song of Ice and Fire - not in order to pit two bad bitches against each other, it's just that, y'know, it's two long iconic fantasy series and so on. And I came to a conclusion that to me personally, ASOIAF feels like a more fantastic one, even though it has less magic, less magical creatures, less fantasy races. Because most of the POV or otherwise important characters are royalty/noblemen (even if the circumstances force them to live like the common people) and/or some kind of (potential) chosen ones and/or otherwise unusual. The only such character among the main cast of The Witcher is Ciri (and she fights against those roles, and in the end she's finally not a royal and not a chosen one, and it's for the best). Everyone else, for the most part, is just a person with a job. Geralt is a mutant but he's not the only one of his kind, and his life (and his mutation) is defined by his profession as a witcher. Yennefer and other sorceresses are not as unique as, say, Melisandre in ASOIAF - sure, it's magic, but it's quite a widespread profession, you can learn it at a special school. Dandelion is a nobleman, technically, but he doesn't live like one, he earns a living as a bard and a poet. Regis is a vampire but it's not like "what do you do?" - "duh, I'm a vampire", he's a herbalist. The dwarves' experiences are linked to their usual jobs in mining and banking, etc. Am I making sense? (I just remembered Cahir is a nobleman. The point still stands)

Also, a lot of attention is paid to the plight of common people such as peasants and workers during the Great Historical Events, and I loved that. (The best chapter? The one about the field medics' tent during the Battle of Brenna, hands down) The politics/worldbuilding are also great and well-constructed, but I think I've mentioned that at some point already. I had trouble keeping all the character names in mind but I always felt very proud of myself when I recognized a name/character I've already encountered. Like, hey, we've briefly met this sorceress as a little girl! This guy from the future is a descendant of this guy from the present! Made me feel like I'm putting a puzzle together.

And the ending! Ohhhh it broke my heart but it felt so appropriate. I know it's Avalon and Arthurian motifs again, but the thing I was immediately reminded of was *guy who's only read Nilfgaardian literature voice* The Master and Margarita... a little afterlife for two, not light but peace. Ciri finally free to build her own life without anyone trying to make her into a pawn or a saviour or a womb on legs or any combination of the three. Dandelion doomed to be the storyteller. The world remains cruel and unjust even though the great war is over, honour and kindness are still not rewarded, but also it's not worth living without honour and kindness. Yeah.

There were also parts I didn't like. I think it's a pity that the series begins with the short story collection because I can totally see people picking it up and then DNFing because the short story collections are. Well, they're not terrible, but imo they're worse than the novels, especially when it comes to female characters, which I think would be a dealbreaker for a lot of people. I don't mean the mentions of sexual violence - it is a series about the horrors of war, after all; I mean all the She Breasted Boobily Down the Stairs. When there's no POV of female characters to counterbalance that, it does seem like the only role of women in the story (unless they're old enough to be a mom figure like Nenneke or young enough to be a daughter figure like Ciri) is to be a sexual object. And sure, it might be mentioned that she has some backstory or some trauma or some ambition on her own, but the most important thing is that she's beautiful and she wants to bang our protagonist sooo much. Which is another thing that annoyed me. Look, I get it! Geralt's a great guy! He's an honourable man in a dishonourable world! He can't get you pregnant and I'm pretty sure he can't have STDs either! But when there are so many Bond girls it does become laughable. TO ME.

Also, this is stupid, but, like. I always feel a little bad when I just can't connect to female characters 🤦‍♀️ and it's not like I didn't like any of them, I absolutely loved Ciri and Milva and Angoulême and Nenneke and Calanthe and I eventually grew fond of Yennefer when I got to see more of her on her own when she's actually a person and not a Protagonist's Love Interest. I just really, really wanted to like the Sorceresses' Lodge, but most of them just feel like the same character to me, with only some minor tweaks, and I find that boring. It's not like this character type can't ever be interesting, it's just. They all feel the same! I had hopes about Assire and Fringilla but then they also turned out to be the same. At least Triss is pathetic and sabotaging her most important relationships in a way that feels realistic, that's interesting. RIP Tissaia de Vries, you were a real one.

In conclusion, can't say I liked each and every detail about these books, but overall I think they're really, really good, and I'm glad I read them! And now I'm gonna stick to ignoring all the fandom content apart from what is reblogged by the people I follow, because I've already dived into the notes on some posts and blogs and saw some opinions that made me squint at the screen like Edgar Poe in that one Kate Beaton comic strip

[genderqueerdykes]

so i’m non binary and a dyke but i’ve never really been non binary. there’s not a word that defines my gender or lack of one. i was born afab and my parents have never had the wish that i was different they were supportive when i came out. but everyone else in my family wished i was a guy. they hated i wasn’t feminine enough and that i liked sports. they wanted me married off at 16. i can never identify as the right thing my experience is very it’s a grey area.

i only say non binary to give people something. i’m definely a lesbain. my use of they them pronouns is because that’s the closet thing that exists to whatever i have going on.

my wish is to be masc or butch. i don’t care for labels but that’s what i am to people. i want to be on t and be buff. i want have a cock that i was born with. if i was born a man i probably wouldn’t be like this but i also wouldn’t have the key parts of myself. i don’t feel like i’m trans masc maybe i am but labels are just social constructs and i don’t ever want to fit into a social norm.

i plan on telling my parents about my wishes to medically i don’t have the word cause it’s not transition cause i’m not transitioning to anything i can put into words.

i live in the uk and it’s not safe for trans people and i fear i will never have a complete identity. i fear that if i try and explain it to people no one will understand. even my friends don’t know. the words don’t exist. healthcare is fucked. the only option is private. i’ll have to rely on my parents for the money for it. i’m 21 years old and everything’s to expensive. my bender is fucked and i only got it this year. i can’t get a job not for a lack of trying. i don’t have the words or the means to get those words. this sucks ass. i can’t even be want i wanted to be when i was younger which was either a sith lord or pokémon trainer.

but at least i have a cute cat that doesn’t care who i am he will still bite anyone cause he doesn’t give a fuck.

i just wanted to say that it's okay that you're scared right now. obviously, what is going on right now in the UK isn't okay, but it's okay for you to be scared about what's happening. so much of it is out of your hands, its natural to feel powerless. you're being pushed between a rock and a hard place and there's little wiggle room to express or safely accomplish your goals

i think it's okay that you don't quite have the words for how you feel and identify right now. it's good that you know some things: that you want to go on T, that you want to be masc, that you know that you should have a penis. i think that is the most important place to start. focusing on what you want. if you feel butch fits you as a dyke, you are absolutely welcome to adopt it even if you don't call yourself butch. like maybe you're just butching up and masculinizing yourself. you can have an identity similar to or even matching another pre-established term and choose to not use it. that's your choice!

some people use the term "unlabeled" if they just don't have a good word to sum up their gender and presentation. and i get what you mean about saying non binary to give people an idea, even if it's not what you identify as. in many places that have fields where you're supposed to fill out your gender, non binary is the only option that isn't man or woman, usually. even if you're not non binary you can at the very least get an idea across, which is a bit better than before the term became popular and it was almost impossible to describe these things to the general public

i hope you're able to find some solace, and that you're able to get on T without much trouble. if possible, it might be good to look at local universities and see if they may have a queer support group. if not, you may be able to find another organization or group where you can go and talk to other local queers about how to survive in this climate. if there's nothing like that in your area, i am very sorry. it is very hard to go without community support as a trans person during turbulent times

if other trans people in the UK have any suggestions for this anon, feel free to help! i'm across the pond in the US so my knowledge of resources for UK based queers is very limited, but i would absolutely love to collect resources for you if at all possible!

i wish you the best of luck in your journey, and i wish that you're able to stay safe while becoming the person you want to be. your family can think and feel a certain way about you, but you know who you are. they can stay in the past and lament that you're too masc, but you're going to keep living that way, anyway. keep your chin up, feel free to come back at any point if you need help. take care

[cy-cyborg]

Hi! I'm trying to include autistic and/or ADHD characters in my stories but I'm afraid I'm not doing a good job. I'm neurotypical, so I fear I might find myself using stereotypes and that's not my intention. Do you have any tips? Thank you in advance, have a nice day!

Ok, so personally I have a lot of trouble coming up with advice for auDHD (autism + ADHD) because, well, the spectrum of experience is so large and there isn't a lot of consistency within the community in regards to what is considered good representation vs just stereotypes. There's a few outliers, like every one I know has agreed Sia's movie "Music" is offensively bad lol, but pretty much everything else I can think of is less clear cut. Generally though, if you want examples of media portrayals of autism done well, avoid anything from or connected to Autism Speaks. They are not a reliable source.

I only really have 3 suggestions:

decide what level of support your character needs. Support needs for autism are variable and they can fluctuate throughout a person's life, but typically, people will fit into one of 3 categories. In Australia it's Level 1, Level 2 and Level 3 with Level 1 is defined as generally being low-support needs, and level 3 being generally very high support needs. Of course, it's a spectrum, so there's massive amounts of variably person-to-person, but as an author, it can be a good idea to pick one of the levels, because you'll typically find more specific information about how autism will present.

Find content creators (as in multiple) with both Autism and ADHD. It's a good idea to listen to the community directly, but when you're writing an AuDHD character in particular, you do need to be aware that those autism and ADHD can play into one another or in some cases, can cancel some traits of each other out (kind of). But it'll be different from person to person. They are very distinct disabilities, but they have some unusual interactions it's vital to be aware of. Ideally, you'll also want to try find auDHD people in the same age range and who are the same gender as your character. Different generations and age groups will treat AuDHD differently, and while It's not a hard and fast thing, both autism and ADHD manifest differently in men and women because of how we are socialized and raised (this applies to trans and nonbinary people too, they'll typically take on traits associated with the gender they were usually raised as, but not always. Personally, I showed a mix of both, but my traits do align more with the typical presentation of AuDHD in girls). Just a little side note, not every person creating content about Autism/ADHD is open to working with authors. Find content creators, listen to them, but don't ask them about your character specifically unless they have stated somewhere that they're open to helping with that kind of thing.

Find sensitivity readers and sensitivity consultants for autism and ADHD. A sensitivity reader goes over your manuscript once the draft is done, but consultants help you from even earlier on in the process. If you're worried about not doing the community justice, this is the best way to go. People online like myself can offer generalized advice, but SR's and SC's will be able to go much more in-depth with you and help you fix moment-to-moment issues in your story.

Some additional things to be mindful of as well when looking up further resources:

Both Autism and ADHD can make it difficult to regulate tone and emotion. This means you are likely going to get information from the community at some point that might not be easy to hear and you're not going to like how its presented to you lol. They're going to be blunt and maybe even "rude". It's not personal (usually lol) but don't expect everyone to be polite, and don't only take criticism from those who are. Tone and emotional regulation is literally a part of both disabilities for a lot of us, and this is a topic a lot of us have strong feelings about to begin with.

I mentioned it already, but avoid taking advice from anything connected to or directly from Autism Speaks.

Social media tends to favor low-support-needs folks, so you'll find info about them, from them, much easier. Even if you're writing a LSN character, be mindful of that bias

Be wary of anyone claiming autism/ADHD is a superpower unironically. This is one of those things that's said by a lot of lower support needs folks and is often a warning sign that they might hold harmful beliefs about other parts of the community and could give you bad info. Just again, something to be aware of when researching.

[theshypinkflower]

I DON'T CARE THAT BHM IS ENDING, CAN YOU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEE DO A BLACK READER WITH THE BTD BOYS?? I BARELY SEE PEOPLE IN THIS FANDOM GIVE ANY REP PLEASE BRO😭😭

Look as much as I agree with this statement entirely, I will say I’m not entirely qualified to depict a black reader. It’s the same reason I don’t really depict male or trans readers. I’m a cis pan Mexican American lmao I can only relate so much to certain demographics of my audience. Generally I don’t think I’m in the position to make hcs for demographics I’m not apart of. But I’ll certainly try!

Honestly I don’t really make SPECIFIED hcs for people of certain demographics because (at least to me) my hcs apply to pretty much everyone. There are certain things that would be tweaked but not so much they warrant a whole new category of hcs. Read any of my old btd hcs and it’ll apply to a black reader, but things like running their fingers through your hair just wouldn’t be all that plausible due to hair textures. Bear with me, these aren’t full hcs just small little things I think that would be different for a black reader.

Strade🔨:

-Bros waves are less defined, but I guarantee with you around you’ll definitely help his hair with all the products you insist he uses (look if he’s gonna kidnap you he might as well have good hair care)

-You convince him to sleep in a bonnet, he doesn’t do it often but he cannot deny the results of a silk bonnet on his hair

-You both keep each other from being ashy (look I know Strade is more light skinned but if he doesn’t moisturize you’ll notice)

-If you get to Ren relationship status with Strade, he will let you buy all the hair care products you need (just don’t expect anyone to get your hair done or anything)

-A but disappointed the bruises he leaves on you don’t show up as well, so he’ll most likely do more extreme stuff like cutting and burning and that sort of thing

Ren🦊:

-He insist on learning how to do your hair, it’s like a bonding experience for the both of you (it takes him awhile but eventually he gets pretty good at it)

-If the both of you live with Strade, then he may be ignorant to any bruising you have. He’ll feel really bad tho if he touches you somewhere and you go “ow” because of a bruise he didn’t realize was there.

Vincent🐺:

-Keeps extra hair ties for you so that you can tie your hair back before putting on the helmet he got for you

-Bro is a big southern momma boy so he knows his way around a cookout

Lawrence🍃:

-Honestly I see Lawrence doing this to quite a few people (not just my 4c girls) but he is snipping your hair if it’s hard to maintain (cries in wavy hair)

Sano💉:

-Has a harder time finding your veins if your his patient, but that makes his experiment all the more of a fun challenge (at least in his perspective)

-Loves how bruises don’t show up as well, means that even if something happens to his dolly you’ll still stay perfect and lovely

-He does go out and buy makeup that shows up easier on your skin (mostly just blushes and eyeshadows)

-Say bye to your natural hair (pretty universal). You’re getting the wig (and bro is a little too good at applying a lace front).

Cain🌹:

-You already get silk everything! He just thinks it suits his darling so well

-I will say bro definitely prefers a silk press more than anything, he thinks it’s classy and goes with everything (luckily for you he pays for it)

I’m terribly sorry if these hcs are bad, I don’t really do like race based hcs. In fact this is the first request for a black reader like EVER! I hope I did a good job, I tried focusing on the characters who would do things different based on a black reader.

[notcuddles]

Saw a post about what the various Dungeon Meshi characters are like in bed and it was just...so deeply wrong. Like, I'm sorry, but just because a character has many good traits in day to day life does NOT mean they're just automatically going to be great in bed.

DunMeshi is the show for loving cringefail idiots who are trying their best (and sometimes managing to get there)

Anyway, here's my take:

Marcille - wants to be good in bed and is trying very hard to be sexy but has internalized way too many romance novels AND way too much social stigma about sex to be really uninhibited in bed. The experience will be fine but you come away from it feeling like there was something missing. Figuring out that she's attracted to women will help her a lot because she won't have a bunch of predetermined, socially mandated sexual roles to fall back on and will have to get creative.

Laios - doesn't think about having sex a lot for himself (he definitely does think about it but he's clearly got a somewhat childish sensibility regarding it) but definitely down if someone else initiates...and is very specific about what they're trying to get him to do. Lots of enthusiasm but zero technique. Willing to put a lot of things in his mouth though, so that's useful. Absolutely down to try whatever physical kink you have, basically without question, but probably bounces hard off of D/s dynamics and similar social role playing for the most part. Pet play is too tame, but will definitely pretend to be a tiger erotically stalking you through the jungle if you're into that.

Chilchuck - I'm sorry, I know everyone loves Mr. Tims but he sucks in bed. "But he has three kids". Lots of people who suck in bed have lots of kids. It's called "societal pressure to have children". Chilchuk's defining (marriage ending!!!) features are that he's emotionally unavailable and tends to overwork himself, which is not a recipe for being a great lover. His one saving grace is that he's good with his hands. Unfortunately, he's not interested in foreplay so that's wasted on him.

Senshi - Likewise, I know we all love dwarf daddy but he ALSO sucks in bed, but for different reasons. Firstly, he's NOTABLY UNWASHED, to the point that magic doesn't work on him, so unless you're really into body odor and related kinks, that's really going to put a damper on things. More importantly, this man has a long history of being isolated from society. Senshi is kind of defined by his desire to be close to people and take care of them, but he's really never had an opportunity to form the kind of long-term, stable relationships that could lead to sexual exploration. (Yes, he was with the orcs for a while but I suspect he was never integrated into the tribe enough for that kind of exploration to take place - when he started getting close to that level, he left because he didn't want to get married) I just straight up don't think he's had a lot of experience in that regard and I think he would be kind of shy. However, since he does like taking care of people, he'd be open to direction and probably a quick learner. You gotta put in the work to teach him though, he's not coming to you with a lot of experience.

Falin - Yeah okay, she's into some weird shit and not shy about it. However, it's not in a defined or specific kink kind of way, she's just very willing to be open about enjoying sensations or experiences that other people might think were weird. If you're down to clown with this dynamic, you'll have a great time. If not, you'll discover midway through fucking that she's stopped paying attention to what you're doing and is watching an ant trying to carry a crumb through a hole in the wall next to the bed. She still tells you that you're doing a good job because you're trying so hard, which is far more devastating than being told that you sucked. Shuro - has very defined ideas about How Sex Is Supposed To Go and won't deviate from them. If you like being methodically pounded for over an hour because he can't finish, Shuro is the man for you. However, this is because he has an extremely repressed kink that he's desperate to hide at all costs by never doing anything even slightly deviant. If you can ever get him to admit what that kink is, he will either die of embarrassment or become the best lay you've ever had...so long as you happen to think that kink is hot, because it's definitely the only thing that will really get him off reliably.

Kabru - has been studying your every move and carefully peppering you with seemingly innocuous and non-sexual questions to help him guess what you're into while you were on a date. Phenomenal in bed, very good/giving/game and eager to please - to the point that you actually don't get a chance to do much to him. A rather dazzling experience the first time around but unfortunately you quickly realize that he has bespoke brain problems that are beyond your ken and is obsessed with some oblivious blond guy. You end up sleeping with him a few more times and keep getting the feeling that he's working an angle but it's hard to say what that angle is, because sex is clearly not the end game of the 5 dimensional chess that he's playing.

[thestupidhelmet]

I get that Red was trying to help Eric from making a mistake by marrying too young. He and Donna were too young to get married (it’s my opinion they could’ve still been engaged and waited till after they graduated high school to marry). But I think Red was going too far by taking away everything that Eric earned— especially his job! That was vindictive and completely unnecessary. I hated how he did that to try to prove a point he couldn’t make by “demoting” Eric back to a ten year old. Red wanted Eric to be an adult TM, but by taking away his son’s responsibilities, he wasn’t doing that. Eric was really trying to prove to his father and everyone else he could handle supporting himself (and by extension Donna, even though she’d be working too), but Red took away all his chances.

I don't like how Red or Kitty reacted to Eric and Donna's engagement, either. That being said, I also understand their point of view.

Eric and Donna are only seventeen. While the planned length of their engagement is never explicitly stated or discussed in season 5, Red and Kitty's behavior implies that Eric and Donna plan on a relatively short one. Otherwise, Eric and Donna would've told them to chill because they don't plan on marrying until after college.

They never communicate that intention, however. If they had, the storyline would have fallen apart. The writers purposely never define the planned length of the engagement so that all the conflict between Eric and his parents can happen.

Red and Kitty fail to dissuade Eric and Donna verbally, including asking them simply to postpone the engagement by one year -- which, again, implies that marriage would soon follow.

Red tries to give Eric a dose of reality by firing him from PriceMart, that once married Eric wouldn't be a kid who could rely on his parents to fix or find solutions to his problems. Problems that would now be adult in nature: being financially responsible for his adult family, living expenses, future children (T7S prime canon, not T9S AU canon).

Neither Red nor Kitty want Eric to grow up unprepared, foregoing college because the responsibilities of marriage and maybe kids at a young age means he'll have to work full-time. We know from "Hunting" (season 2) that Red very much wants to prepare Eric for taking care of himself in a much less kind environment than his home -- i.e. the world.

Red and Kitty are desperate to get through their determined, stubborn, teenage son, who doesn't yet have the wisdom borne from experience to make different choices. He has an arrogance that many teenagers have about their choices. It's part of the growth process.

So Red pushes Eric and Donna to get married right away, at seventeen) to scare them into postponing engagement/marriage.

The one act that I believe goes too far is Kitty sabotaging Eric getting the bank job. Again, I understand why she does it. She's right to believe if he gets that job that he'll delay college or never go. And if I were in her position, I might want to make a similar choice (I wouldn't necessarily act on it).

But Eric will live and by his own choices as an adult. He's made his decision at seventeen, and in a year -- at eighteen -- he's legally an adult. Getting that bank teller job is another indication that he and Donna planned on a short engagement.

Red and Kitty are parenting Eric the best, imperfect way they can, trying to protect Eric from his own dumbassery.

I do think that an in-character Donna, at least, would have insisted on a long engagement that lasts through college. Eric would have agreed to it, too, even if he were eager to be married during college. But the T7S writers began manipulating the characters in season 5 to manufacture conflict and put plot first.

[castlebyersafterdark]

So lovely to have another gay male perspective on foah! Adore it, love it, though I have to say, re these bits...

Personally, as a gay man, I would never call a platonic friend "special" while placing my hand over my heart and ranking him at the top of my wrap post if he weren't my boyfriend or husband. "I love you so much and I’m so proud of you this year" feels too strong for a crush. Sorry, but I don’t think anyone, no matter how brave, would write "I love you" to a crush.

I think it's really important to remember that this is no ordinary relationship simply because it's an artistic and actorial one. The intimacy between performers, especially ones portraying a love story, is not comparable to any normal romance/feelings that exists outside of performance. So unless you yourself are an actor with such experience, or have studied the craft of acting even as an amateur, I think it can be really hard to understand just how unique these relationships can be.

For example, after taking even a few casual acting classes for fun, I had a much better understanding of how it's possible to blur lines of intimacy and love that are usually very regimented for non-actors. I understood how even performing a love scene truly can, after a certain point, become 'just a job'. I also understood that its very very possible for real feelings to develop sometimes. Both are true.

I genuinely see real chemistry between foah. But the points you made here about not ever saying you'd love someone don't apply imo, especially because Noah seems the kind of friend who would tell his platonic friends, male and female, that he loves them. Don't forget finn and noah would have been friends first and crushes second. The second does not negate the first. Just like Will is able to interact normally with Mike and isn't reduced to a puddle of flustered mess in his presence.

There are plenty of non-verbal vibes that tell me they have strong feelings for each other, but we must remember the whole context, especially the weirdness that is acting.

Sharing some more variations of perspective!! Loving the conversations and the different viewpoints - and there's the thing. No one can be completely correct, it's all personal life experiences and perspectives, after all.

Definitely something to be said about the personality types that flock to the arts, maybe onto something here. And how close these people who made the show together for near a decade truly are. So, layers.

It's very difficult to parse the realities of what type of relationship they may have with one another. I'm enjoying everyone's takes and just kind of... absorbing at this stage. I'm a little unsure how I really feel lately - and with that, a bit more aloof these day to the commitment to predicting and defining it. Observing and enjoying takes. That's all.

I am someone who's pretty open with my love, with my platonic affection. I cuddle with my straight best friend who's a guy, some of my close women friends and I will playfully kiss each other on the cheek, I tell you all here that I love you all and cherish you all quite often... but there's a platonic playfulness and sincerity that's different depending on the situation, like there's a thread there.

I don't think I would or could act that with with an actual crush if I was at a point in my life where an actual crush could possibly develop. So... maybe then, it's beyond a crush for him, something deeper regardless of the public nature of these moments we are detailing.

Maybe it sounds hypocritical - but there is a difference. Felt a little pointed, and maybe none of us here with an agenda can ever be truly neutral in viewing these interactions and moments. We can also admit that., and we should Maybe they really are just very close friends with a different type of friendship than others in the cast, something outside the margins. I don't... know. Something we are having trouble as a "fandom" to define, relentlessly. So, I won't.

And you know what - maybe that's ok, too. I'm not abandoning the idea of the ship, but I'm not dependent on the reality. We do not know at this point and we cannot. We can't ignore that WHATEVER they have going on, every person is different, no matter our similarities. No one is actually part of any one monolith.

I think because we're all so individually different, we view so much through our own personal relationships and lives and we cannot help but bring these perspectives into analyzing and observing all of this.

[lasi-nariyoyoreads]

Mingyu and Joshua's FS

Ask 1: Can you do a reading for Joshua’s future spouse? With a few questions I would like to ask is Do they know each other or have they met? Are they a celeb or non celeb? Korean, Asian, or foreigner? What’s their personality like? How long it will take before they get together ? ( sorry I know I’m asking a lot of questions ) - Ask 2: Hiiii, Lasi! I hope you’re doing well 🫶🏻 Can I request a reading about SVT Mingyu’s FS? Like the one you did for Bang Chan of SKZ? Thank you so much, have a great day ahead! ✨

Squeezing these two ask from the old blog together because they have the same topic and are about two members of the same group. As for Joshua's ask, it's the first time I tried to get specific info, usually I tend to focus more on their emotional connection and the characteristics of their personalities, but it was fun to try a new approach. For Mingyu, I did what I usually do. I'm fine btw and I hope you have a great day too!

Disclaimer:

My readings are made for fun and you should read them for fun too. So don't take them seriously.

Mingyu

Cards: rev the temperance, rev 6 of cups, 5 of pentacles

This person lacks balance, either they are bad at managing their time/business and/or they lack emotional stability.

I say emotional stability because it seems they're coming out from a bad experience and are in a process of healing. It's possible Mingyu is a "tool", in the sense that his presence is also a way to move on from the past disappointment.

They seem like someone who doesn't expect much from everything.

They might struggle with self-esteem or they might even go as far as thinking they don't deserve anything.

I'm not sure how I feel about this relationship also because I don't feel much on Mingyu's part, I don't know if he's getting anything good from being close to them and I get the feeling he isn't that serious about them.

They might have different personalities, different life styles or a different world view that brings them to many arguments and clashes.

I feel like it’s a relationship that is kinda "forced", like they are together more to keep up appearances rather than because of real love.

For example, they might have been outed, so everyone knows they’re in a relationship. They’d rather act like a happy couple than going through another scandal linked to them breaking up. Or a sudden pregnancy might be involved too.

I don't think this person is getting much benefit from being with Mingyu either, other than the idea that a handsome and successful man is attracted by them.

I think they'll break up eventually.

Joshua

Cards: rev 8 of pentacles, 5 of wands, rev 5 of pentacles

While I was shuffling, I was asking your questions in my mind and when I asked about their personality, the 8 of pentacles rev fell off the deck, so I’ll just take this card as what defines their personality.

They might be someone who directs all their energy in the wrong direction. Like over-focusing on an aspect and forgetting about everything else. For example, you ask them to hang out together but they’re always busy with something else.

It’s possible that this is an aspect that might cause some conflict. It’s possible this person is very focused on their job, but then neglect their private life.

Joshua might voice this and ask for more quality time.

5 of pentacles reversed is a card that fits this context, it means that something good will come after hardships, so I think this person will be able to find a better management of their time.

As for their job, they give me the vibe of someone who aspired to something big but didn’t achieve that much. If they are an idol, they probably debuted and then got disbanded soon after because they weren't successful. I feel this is what caused that imbalance in their life, they probably started to focus too hard on their job because they’re so ashamed of their failure. It’s possible they still work around in the industry, but behind the scenes.

I feel they don’t know each other yet or they aren’t that close yet. It's hard to say how long it will take for them to get together, but if we stick by the cards, there's two number 5 that appeared, so it might be 5 years. In 5 years, it will be 2028 and 8 is the other number that appears in the cards so idk you might take that as a sign if you want.

It's hard to say where they’re from, but 8 of pentacles and 5 or pentacles are represented as sitting women in my deck, so it gives me a sense of someone stationary, they might be Korean. 5 of wands is represented as men who climb, so they might be from the south of the country and then moved north to Seoul to train and/or work.

[magnetarbeam]

I've just been forced to face the fact that Legends fans are a minority and it's really depressing, so now I'm going to think about my ridiculously self-indulgent Rogue Squadron Vestara AU.

The more think about it, the more I question how in-character it actually is for her to choose to do this. If the idea is to choose her own path, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense for her to choose a path that still puts her in a specific defined command structure where she doesn't actually have much freedom. Then again, Rogue Squadron historically isn't known for being particularly disciplined.

I guess if all she's trying to do is find herself. In canon we don't get to see her piloting much, but as far as I remember she enjoys the first flight she takes in Ship. I don't think it's too much of a stretch for her to want to exercise her piloting skill more, especially since the Lost Tribe don't really seem to use any fighters, and the helms of those shitty old Corporate Sector frigates would more likely be reserved for at least Sabers.

She enjoys flying, it's not a skill she's had much of a chance to use - at least not in regular ships - and she's trying to explore herself in new ways and stuff. I think it makes enough sense.

In terms of strict command structures, I think it would make a lot of difference for her that in a regular military, everyone isn't constantly plotting to stab each other in the back.

And, like, at this point Syal's more familiar with treason and knowing when you need to defy the command structure than Wedge was at her age. All that LotF angst has to have been good for something, and I've already talked about some of my headcanons for what happened to her after she ended up among the Jedi in Fury.

I'm operating under the vague assumption that this story is supposed to be continuitous (if that's even a word) to Guiding Star, which is the theoretical story that details the events that Syal and Wedge and Tycho and Gavin went through while Revelation but mostly Invincible happened. An important part of her character in LotF is that by Fury, she's come to question her own judgement as much as she questions her superiors, and I haven't planned it very much, but I assume part of her arc in Guiding Star involves her resolving that, and that she now believes she has enough experience to determine for herself whether the current government is or isn't worth spending lives for.

(Side note: 44 ABY is the year Syal turns 27, which makes her probably the same age here as Wedge is in the first X-Wing book, and I love that symmetry, trivial though it is.)

I've been thinking of it as Vestara actually joining the Rogues three or four months after FotJ (on a ten-month in-universe calendar), so by now Ves has had plenty of time to gain experience with X-Wings, and learn from most of the best pilots alive. Also, at this point, Syal's had enough time to consider Wynn Dorvan's decisions as the next Chief of State and decide the GA under him is worth spending lives for. He is a genuinely good guy, FotJ just puts him in bad situations constantly.

According to at least Luke, Daala was doing a fine job until FotJ. Syal wouldn't have agreed with Daala's actions during FotJ, but in the timeskip, at least, I think Syal would have probably continued to lead the version of the Rogues that she inherited at the end of the Second Galactic Civil War.

(Second side note: I'd like some kind of story that actually demonstrates Daala having done a good job as Chief of State.)

The other pilots on Rogue Squadron at this point are a point of much questioning.

I'm going with the idea that there was another reorganization of the squadron after the end of FotJ, to update the roster. At least half the point of Rogue Squadron is political symbolism and representation and stuff, and there are some educated guesses to be made from that.

In addition to Syal herself, a convenient addition is Zueb Zan, the Sullustan who was her gunner when she flew Alephs. That's a relationship Syal already has, and what little there is to see of him in canon makes me like him enough.

The other canon character I can think of to add here is Drathan Forge, Inyri's great-nephew who shows up briefly at the end of Outcast, when they have to blow up the ancient artifacts beneath the mines of Kessel before said artifacts blow up the planet. In that scene, Drathan claims to be a skilled pilot, and says he has provisional Academy acceptance, and that he'd have to keep his grades up for another year. So the end of FotJ is about when he'd be getting in. If this is a few months after that, I'd find it acceptable for him to get into the Rogues on the basis of skill and family history. Hells, Inyri didn't have any formal training.

Anyway, the implicitly successful diplomatic reintegration of at least the major players of the Confederation during FotJ leads to the roster including a token Bothan and also a token Commenorian. The whole Treaty of Vontor issue results in a token Klatooinian or something. Syal herself is Corellian, obviously.

Drathan, I expect, is a representative of the various corporate enterprises currently operated by Lando. I think in Outcast, Lando has a line about how he's selling to the private sector since the SGCW (maybe before that), and if I recall correctly that implies that he's potentially enabling stuff like YVH droids to end up in the hands of enemies of the Alliance.

I'd buy the Alliance having someone who's from Kessel, another one of Lando's operations, in Rogue Squadron as an attempt to convince Tendrando Arms to be more loyal to them.

Anyway, Vestara's role in this is as both a token Jedi and a token ex-Sith. She's not ready to commit to the Jedi path yet, but if she doesn't fully leave the Order and instead is still being trained by Luke on the side, they might play her up as proof that despite the Jedi Order leaving the Alliance's authority and stuff, they haven't abandoned the Alliance completely. That would be especially important in the aftermath of the end of FotJ, and how I've decided the official line of the GA is that Abeloth was an instrument of the Sith. Especially, but not necessarily, if I decide to work this plotline into Voices of the Force, where her influence stretched far beyond Coruscant.

Also, the fact that Vestara used to be a Sith is useful too. Between Abeloth and Caedus, hate for the Sith is probably the highest it's been since... I don't even know. The highest it's been in millennia, maybe. Even Palpatine, as I recall, wasn't nearly as public about it in his life as Caedus was at the end.

If they can show people a former Sith who's been redeemed, the Jedi might prevent public opinion from going so far as to approve, for example, Kesh being glassed and its mostly innocent population killed. The Alliance doesn't know where it is, so that's not an immediate concern, but it is a concern nonetheless.

That's still only seven out of twelve.

I think Vestara's new girlfriend is someone in a position of a friend to the Rogues, but not actually in their command structure, because that way it won't get weird if one of them gets promoted.

Another headcanon I have is that the age of majority in the Galactic Alliance is 14, a relic of the strategic realities of the late stages of the Vong War, so theoretically there's no rule preventing people Vestara's age from having a position here.